| Chapter Thirty - Seven |

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Dear Diary,

We did it, It's been a year.

20th of August 2016.

I just can't believe it's been a year already.

When I first met you, I thought that you might be something that I was going to call home. And I was right.

I knew I liked you when you made me nervous, and my heart would beat faster when I saw you. I knew I loved you when I felt calmer with you than without you.

20th of August 2015 was the most magical day of my life.

It's been one long and beautiful year. Spending time with him, getting to know each other, and chatting with him. It feels like yesterday when I started falling for him, I still remember every memory we did together that day when I started loving him. From our first weird selfies, our first conversation, our first eye contact, when he first started helping me, I even remember our first chat and the first time we looked at each other.

Even though it has been a whole year, I still get the same feeling when he talks or smiles at me and it still makes me so happy. It's been a year, and he still has me day-dreaming about him.

Take me back to the day we met. The day I laid my eyes on you and thought you were a complete idiot and not my type. A few months later, you turned out to be everything I ever needed.

I'm proud of loving him because he's the kindest and sweetest person I know.

I know he may not know I fell in love with him that day, but I just don't want to tell him. I wish I would, but I don't think I can bare the thought to even start to embarrass myself like that.

He had texted me at midnight on this special night and it made me so amazed at the coincidence.

He started by asking how I was and I just told him great, also asking him how he was to which he also replied as good.

He asked what's up and I remember quickly responded saying, "I'm in a hotel for a few days to hang with my family. What about you?"

He told me nothing much, he's just doing the same as usual and he told me to have fun.

We kept talking but there was not really anything special about it. We just chatted about what he can be doing. Then, he said, "I have something to do and I'll talk to you later."

I just told him okay, and he had left.

Then, we didn't talk again for the rest of the day. It honestly didn't make me upset or mad or anything, I'm just happy that he had actually started the chat this time. I'm always thankful for a kind and thoughtful person like him.

Something else happened. 'My Friend' and I talked to each other today, we spoke about everything and we had decided to let everything go. We agreed that there's no more secrets between us and no talking behind people's back. We will be just 'normal friends' and this made me truly pleased. No more fights, no more anger.

I wish I could forget him but it's not a button I could just press, I just feel he became a part of my life. It's been a year. I have to move on because I know he'll never like me. I just feel I'm worthless and stupid. But again, I love him. He's my rainbow.

How can I even forget him?
It's not easy, I really do love him but I can't do anything about that. I know that makes me stupid and I do not ever care; maybe I should.

I love him.

He makes my day just by saying my name.

I'm still happy that he remembers me, and didn't try to forget about me.

You're on my mind twenty four hours a day.

I Love him.

Dear Him,
You always make me happy. Your small gestures make me flutter. Just by eye contacting, I fall in love with you again and again. You're the one who's always beside me and makes me feel safe. You always make me feel happy. You're a special person. It's been a year, looking out for you, caring for you and loving you.

I Love You.

I hope you know that.

Love,

Your Lover.

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