Hey, look, I don't now how to start or where to start from, blah blah blah, so I'm just gonna.
CHEESY ALERT!
You know how I told you that my parents always wanted a girl instead of me? I wonder what it would have been like if I were a girl. We'd still have what we have? I don't know. Why? Because what we have is unique and kinda divine. We, are the only twins I have seen who weren't even born on the same damn date. You know how I also tell you how I've always wanted a sister? Wouldn't have mattered if she was younger or older, I just wanted one. Of course it was never my decision to make, if you know what I mean. I always imagined how it would have been if I had one, how our relationship would have been. You know? It is one of the best relationships, I think.
But then I met you and take my word for it, you are the best damn sis, well, twin I could ever asked for it. Whatever I had imagined, you just smashed it, because you turned out to be even better, WAY BETTER. You showed me, what it's really like; to have a sibling, have a sis, to protect, to feel protected. Go ahead, flatter yourself, you should.
You know, I remember how it all started. I remember the entire conversation. How you just called me a brother, {believe me, this was the only time I didn't feel weird when a girl called me that} and I said, "I demand a Rakhi." And then you took your time, went through your emojis, and came up with this
~~o ~~ and I said, "Noooo, I want one with a football". You get the credit really, this was super smart and funny and kinda cute.
We all look for that one person, whom we can talk to about anything, person we can't resist telling everything at the end of the day, a person whose crazy matches yours. You are that person for me, and that is hard to find.
I never had a person like that for me ever before, and like I don't even know how many times I have said that.
Growing up was tough, not many friends around, and whoosh forget any close ones. But when I met you? It fit you know? Everything fit.
I have always wanted someone I could talk to about, you know, girls and..Boys obviously. Uk like girls talk boys? {Pat on the back for the reference} yea yea, I had friends to talk to about girls but not really in the same way, the way we do. And duh, you just can't tell your "guy friends" about the boys, you feel are uk, pretty? {Like ash, and those who exist around us}. Because then they all would be like, 'GAAAAAAAAY'. But not you, not with you, ever. I don't even have to think twice before telling you that I found a guy pretty while walking somewhere. And you don't hesitate in telling me about girls, so yeah, I guess we both are a little queer. They don't call us twins for nothing.
I might not have known you since you were born or known you for 5 years, 10 years, only for a year, 3 months, 11 days and a couple of hours. But when I'm with you? I feel like I have known you for ages, like you were the sister I lost in kumbh ka mela {lame} 16 years ago {listen to 16 years, the griswolds}, you know? I have never in my entire life have been this comfortable with someone. I guess that explains why I still have the last year's Rakhi with me and why I keep it in my wallet and why I carry it around with me. I don't wanna lose it, I don't wanna lose the memory, and well, because it's pretty cool, go you.
I have thanked you for this before but I'm gonna do it again. Thank you, for giving me 5 Seconds Of Summer. Thank you for giving me this amazing music, which I, well we could connect to. Thank you for giving me this ground, on which we could bond over, probably till eternity. And most of all, thank you for giving me ASH {what, you got LUKE so, FML!!}
To be honest, I wasn't always a good person, I mean, I don't know, maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. But what I can tell you, is that I was always missing something. I was always a half shadow. And you never missed a single chance to see the good in me, bringing it out and teaching me to see it with your eyes. I feel that's all there is left now, the good. And well, the other half of that shadow, you.
You have helped me through all the dark times, were always there to pick me up when I fell. And I know that you'll be there when there is light. Correction, you'll be the light. Eh, correction again, you are. You are the light that never goes out.
There is this concept of Permanent Memories, that you know, stick with you for the rest of your life, something that triggers a particular feeling, say happiness. FYI, the movie is Inside Out and since you haven't watched it yet, we're gonna watch it together; I want you to see it.
So, context, a few days ago, we were doing that Mission Socialize with that kid, I told you about. Remember? I asked him to describe a memory that is the happiest memory he has, something that made him feel infinite. And he said he didn't have one, and even if he did, he wouldn't remember it at all. I felt that this, was weird. Julls noticed it and so she asked me what is my happiest memory. I said I don't wanna answer. Why? I didn't wanna jinx it.
My happiest memory, is your 17th Birthday. That day means something to me, that I can't really put it in words, it wouldn't be fair. I think it was so, because I had never seen you that happy, ever before, more so because I was the reason for it? I remember that big big smile on your face, and how you hugged the sounds good feels good cd. And then, obviously, how you hugged me. And then how you went, "I don't cry, I'm punk rock" and how you had a completely red face, maybe because of rushing feelings, and then the hug. Oh My God that Hug. I'm telling you, put it down on a paper and get it bloody signed { literally } from me, that IT WAS THE MOST LONG BEAUTIFUL MEANINGFUL ASDFGHJKL AND FULL OF LOVE Hug, someone ever gave me. And I love you so much for it. It was special for you too, wasn't it? I feel like if I wouldn't have tapped, it would have gone forever. Dammit ME. But I got another one, while I was leaving, the best goodbye someone ever said to me, without words. I was like, awhhh I love you too, bah bah, but didn't say it, because it did. Those 3 hugs? They didn't make my day, not my year, it made my century {I'm probably gonna get another one of those after you've read it all}
Remember how that day we were sitting under your home, eating chocolate { another damn good memory} and you said something like, "I'm not that happy a person now, I mean, I try to be happy?". And I didn't say anything, just tapped you on the shoulder, just like I always do? It was my way of saying that I am always here for you and that I'm never gonna leave your side.
Muka, your happiness? It means everything, it means the whole universe to me. My happiness doesn't even matter to me as much as yours do. You are my topmost priority, and I will always choose you, no matter what. Me tapping, means that I will always take care of you and your happiness; that either I will bring you it, or I'll be it.
This is another promise I make you, other than some other I have already made. I promise to hold your hand and help you cross roads, I promise to take you to a 5sos concert, I promise to take care of you, I promise to be your shoulder to lean on, to be your right when you feel wrong. I promise you everything I have, to offer.
I love you twinie, more than anything else. And I just hope, that my every hug displays that. Does it?
If doesn't, I'm gonna say it again.
"Hey we're taking on the world
I'll take you where you wanna go
Pick you up if you fall to pieces
Let me be the one to save you."
I love you kutri. Even after all this time? Always.
Happy 2nd Protection bond(that's raksha-bandhan, dumbo).
I guess, now is the time I thank you for the most amazing gift you ever gave me sis. Thank you, for You.
*missed call*
I love you so much. Twinie flab? Twinie flab.
