Carry Me Home

Twenty-Six

"We're both fine. Actually Jason decided to pop round for a few days as well since Claire's gone on a little adventure. He's upstairs if you wanna meet him. Your aunt's gone out shopping but she'll meet you when she's back."

"Cool. I'll go meet Jason then, Uncle Noah." He nodded and let me go upstairs. I could hear Jason curse in pain from the guest bedroom and laughed at his clumsiness. When we were kids Jason was always the one who'd trip over and skin his knee. He wouldn't cry though, he'd just sit there and wait for someone to pay attention to his bloody knee and put a plaster on it. 

I knocked on the door and when the all clear was given I went in to see my blonde haired, green eyed cousin. Jason's eyes weren't a solid colour but his irises had a dark rim of green around them, filled in with a pale green and highlights of amber. He had a lean, slightly muscular body despite the fact he ate a lot. When he finally noticed who was at the door he jumped out of his seat before tripping over something again. 

"Oh gosh, Jace," I rushed over to him to see the carpet burn he received on his forearm. "You're twenty-two yet you still manage to trip over things," I muttered unimpressed. 

"You're almost nineteen yet..." he went into deep thought about something he could criticise me on but undoubtedly couldn't find anything. 

"Yet?"

"Yet... you still don't know what... two plus two is. Ha!"

"It's four, Jason," I replied, looking really confused as to why he thought I didn't know that. 

"No, it's a fucking fish. Such a narrow mind you have, Evie."

"All the better to judge you with, Jace," I replied, quoting Red Riding Hood. 

He stared blankly at me for a few moments before suddenly burying me in between his arms and chest. "I missed you, little one."

"Missed you too, Jace. Now why is a twenty-two year old afraid of being at home alone?"

"Am I not welcome here?"

"No."

"Wow, Evie. I thought we were closer than that. By the way, Aunt Primrose has told me about this new boyfriend of yours. So do you want me to buy a knife or a gun?" He asked, placing his fist on the side of his cheek looking very serious about his question. 

"Neither. Rowan would never hurt me." I'd probably hurt him. 

"A hundred percent?"

"Yes, Jason." Before Jason could reply I heard an excited voice booming from downstairs. Looks like Aunt Primrose was back . 

"Evie, where are you?" she squealed. Let the further procession of hugs begin. 

xxx

"How long are you staying for?" Uncle Noah asked, cutting his medium rare steak up into pieces. I stuffed a quarter of my roast potato into my mouth and quickly chewed to prevent looking like I had no manners when I talked. 

"Probably until next week. I also have to get back and do some things in the library," I explained, trying not to make a mess of the food on my plate.

"Do you want to do anything special for the next six days you're here?" Aunt Primrose asked, spooning more salad in to my plate. The salad was bright green yet the red tomatoes caught my eyes. I hated tomatoes with a passion deep within my soul. The texture was wrong and the taste was way too horrid for me to allow it to enter my digestive system.

When Aunty Claire was held up with something 'important' Jason used to have dinner with us which ultimately meant that salad had to prepared to make dinner more filling. I never understood how a few vegetables could fill you up more but I didn't question it. Whenever tomatoes ended up being splattered on my plate Jason would take them out and swap them for his cucumber pieces. I loved cucumber in my salad and so did Jason but not once did that stop him from swapping our veggies. 

The second Aunt Primrose went back into the kitchen Jason took his spoon and removed all the tomatoes from my plate. 

"Evie, why didn't you invite Rowan for dinner?" I was too intrigued in the food I was eating to even process the question I was asked. 

"His parents wanted him back home."

"Understandably." She drew her attention away from me for a moment before she spotted the lettuce littering the table. "Look at the mess you're making, Evelyn." And her motherly instincts were back.

xxx

The misty breeze circled around me, and the leaves rustled as they were swept aside by the force of the wind. There wasn't a walking soul around as I rested against the huge oak tree facing my mother's grave. 

Brianna Cartwright

March 18th 1979 - March 30th 2005

A precious daughter and loving mother who went too soon

I traced the engraved words on her gravestone with my index finger, lingering on her name. Her name meant 'strong' and she lived up to it. A week after my birthday every year she'd take out a box from under her bed and look at all the belongings from her previous life. Her life before me. Brianna Cartwright was a quirky, confident teenager who caught Colin Lawson's attention when she stood up for her best friend who was being annoyed by Colin's best friend. Mum thought Colin was her soulmate after only a few short months, but she was wrong. 

Colin was a coward. 

I didn't despise my father but strongly disliking him was another story. I watched videos of mother during her maternity period and she looked so joyful eventhough I knew she was anxious about having me. Colin popped into the videos every now and then, and I could see the characteristics I inherited from him. My green eyes, my slender fingers and my dark, wavy hair were from him. It's clear to see why my mother fell for him the way she did. 

The death of my mother left a gaping hole that nothing nor anyone could fill in. If I laid back and thought hard I could still recall her calm, soothing voice as she called me out of my room for dinner or to get ready for school. I remember always skipping happily out of the school doors to show Mum my report card just to see the proud look on her face at how hard I was studying. Some days we'd sit on the sofa and silently watch a movie with her stroking my hair with her soft hand.  

I didn't notice the slow drop of tears falling out of my eyes until one landed on my hand. I didn't wipe them away though, I openly allowed them to pour as if they were raining down on the grave. 

"Oh, Mum, I miss you," I wept silently, tucking my knees under my chin and wrapping my arms around them. "You never warned me about how my world would fall apart once you left me alone, Mum. You don't belong up there yet, Mum. MUM, PLEASE! MUM!" 

The tears weren't a light rain anymore but a heavy downpour. I wanted to yell my pain to the world but my mum was my world, so who else would I yell too?  

"You never got to see me graduate, Mum. You always said that I was going to make you proud by living up to my full potential, then why aren't you here to witness it? I want you to hold me again, Mum. I want you plait my hair again and kiss my forehead after you were done. I'm so sorry, Mummy. I'm so sorry." I rested my head against the stone and just rested my hand against her name as if it would bring some sort of connection between my mother and I. "I hope you're happy up there, Mum. You deserved the entire universe and you better be getting that wherever you are. I love you, Mum."

I laid against the tree again and gazed out towards the horizon. On no occasion did I have a desire to have extravagance in my life but despite that the simple things seemed to be ruining me. I could give up everything in the world for peace and serenity but somehow destruction would find it's wretched way to me just to be sure my world carried on breaking apart. 

I wasn't allowed to be forgiven and I sure as hell didn't deserve peace when I took someone's life. 

xxx

I don't know what I wrote, honestly. I just wrote and wrote without the slightest plan. I truly think characters have a mind of their own and they write the story not us.  

Whilst writing the scene where Evie is at the graveyard I felt weirdly emotional but that's probably because I was listening to a sad song.

Until next time, my readers.