Tomorrow, still Today| (Kim Taehyung)

Oblivion

Exhausted. Pained. Hurt. Scared. Tired.

It's morning right now and I nod to the nurse before turning around and making my way up the stairs again. I see Namjoon in the corner of my eyes and walk a little quicker.

"Moon Sana!"

I don't say anything as he comes running into my direction and turns my shoulders lightly. I keep still, as he bends forward a little.

"3 days, alright?"

I swallow harshly but my mouth is dry. My head is pounding but I nod, obediently. There's not much I can do.

Without looking at him anymore, I leave him behind and continue my way to Taehyung's room.

-------------------

Ever since that day, Sana is not the same anymore.

She is more distant. Doesn't talk that much, when she comes in. She doesn't smile. She comes in at night, when I pretend that I'm sleeping.

She stays there for a few minutes, I can hear her breath shaking.

Her breath is always shaking these days.

And she always clutches onto her phone, looking at it every few seconds.

Today is no different. She comes in, closes the door behind her silently. But my eyes still shoot up when she is here.

Her skin is paler than normal and her lips are dry. Her eyes are puffy.

It looks like she's been crying instead of sleeping.

I hide the painting in my hands under the cover, when she drags a chair over the floor and seats herself next to me.

But it's too far away. She's so far away these days.

I frown, when I see her knees shake lightly and she lets her pen click over an empty sheet of paper.

There's silence for a while as I stare at her and she stares down at the empty page.

"How are you feeling today?", she asks after what seems like ages and forces her gaze a little upwards. But she doesn't look at me.

I don't know what to answer.

Bad.

I'm scared about you.

My nightmares are coming back.

I couldn't sleep the past few days.

What happened?

...

I miss you.

"I'm fine."

Cause that is the only thing, I can answer. Maybe she's becoming more distant by choice. Maybe she is scared of me now.

Sana's pen hovers over the page but she doesn't let it sink down.

Her eyes are dull and my eyes glisten over her shaky fingers.

How I want to hold them right now.

How I want to hold her right now.

I swallow harshly to get rid of the dryiness in my mouth as there's silence again for a while.

"Are you having nightmares?", she asks and her voice is far away.

Yes. Every night. Every night, where they keep me awake, where I don't want to drown again. I don't want to drown again.

Recently, the green water turned into blood and I felt like burning alive.

Recently, Jungkook was not there anymore. Not alive. Only dead, floating, his skin a scary pale. I miss talking to him.