Blackfoot

Chapter 24

"I have been doing so because I have been confused."  She said honestly, taking her gaze away from him as she looked at the overly large hall, the high dwarven statues looking on with blank daunting eyes.  "And scared.  This...this has been a big change Thorin and I haven't really known how to take it."

Selene didn't realise how distracted she had been until Thorin's hand intertwined with hers and she starts, having not heard him move, his gaze soft.

"Why not just tell me?"  He asked gently.  "I am here to help."

She wanted to believe that and while she could feel Thorin fighting with himself, she knew that this part of him did not mean the words.

She sighs.  "You have had your own issues Thorin, let alone trying to deal with mine too."  She squeezes his hand gently.  "How are you feeling?"

For a moment she thought that this would break him through, the sudden confusion that hit him had him pull his hand away, his brow furrowing as he stared at her.

"I'm fine."  He said it slowly though, not entirely convinced of his words.

Selene almost gave into it, almost prepared to be happy, but then she realised that it would only make it worse.  "Thorin...you know I can feel you are not."

This made his frown deepen and he took a step back.  "I am fine Selene.  You have nothing to worry about."

"You haven't been fine since you stepped into this place."  She continued.  "And a part of you knows that.  This place held so many good memories for you, but also a lot of pain, you weren't ready to deal with it Thorin."

Except Thorin was retreating now, looking a mixture of hurt and panicked.  "You don't know what you are saying."

Selene sighed, not moving from where she stood, her eyes shining.  "Of course I know.  I'm feeling everything you are and I know you are in pain.  I am in pain too.  For both our sakes Thorin, you need to see that."

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Selene let the tears fall, showing how vulnerable she was.  "Please.  I don't want to hurt anymore Thorin.  When we accepted this, it stopped for a while, I could actually see a future for myself, with you, and the longer you are like this, the more that that fades."  She let's the shift come over her eyes, the amber starting to bleed with red.  "Then there's this.  Look at me and tell me you want this Thorin."

His gaze was a mix of fear and worry, clearly fighting himself on what he wanted to do.

She wiped her eyes, letting them go back to silver, although not entirely getting rid of the amber.  "I can't do this without you, just as I know you can't do this without me, but right now, this is a one sided fight.  I need you back Thorin, and I know it's going to hurt, but I will help you through it."

"Selene..."  He goes to take a step forward, but he staggers a little, pain going through him and Selen steps forward, taking his arm to make sure he doesn't fall.

She pulls him into a hug, his hands clinging to her.  "I am here," She said quietly against him.  "And no matter what happens, no matter what I do, I don't want you to forget that."

Thorin's arms wrap around her and it takes her a moment before she realises that he is crying to, and while she can still feel the darkness beating away at him, it wasn't as heavy and it gave her hope.

They stood like that for a long time.

Slowly and seemingly reluctant, Thorin pulled away and cleared his throat.  "We...we have a battle to prepare for."

His gaze wasn't as cold anymore and Selene gives a soft smile.  "We do, although, there is little point in trying to find armour for me.  A decent weapon will be enough."

Thorin frowns.  "You are still at risk Selene, I will not have you go out unarmoured."

She kisses his cheek lightly.  "Trust me, if I go out there, I will not need armour for long."

It was clear he still did not like this.  "Selene-"

"Just a weapon will be fine."  She said and then started on the way out.  "Even then I probably won't need that long."

Thorin watched after her, his gaze uncertain, but he eventually follows, quick to shout out orders to the others and they all headed to the armoury.

As Selene stands back and watches them get ready, she felt a little better.  Things were still not entirely all alright, but she felt that Thorin really had made a breakthrough, solidified when he sent a smile her way.

Movement caught her eye and she looked up to see Bilbo, who nods at her and she returns it in understanding, even as Thorin called for Bilbo to join him.  She just hoped, that whatever Bilbo had done, wouldn't come back too much to bite him.  Like her, Bilbo only had the best intentions.

But she knew, like this, the best intentions could mean little to Thorin.