A Hogwarts Legend: Changing Paths [3]

Chapter Nine

Unedited

Chapter Nine - "I don't speak asshole."

The staff room, a long, panelled room full of old, mismatched chairs, is empty except for one teacher. Professor Snape is sitting in a low armchair, and he looks around as the class files in. His eyes are glittering and there's a nasty sneer playing around his mouth. As Professor Lupin comes in and makes to close the door behind him, Snape says, "Leave it open, Lupin. I'd rather not witness this." He gets to his feet and strides past the class, his black robes billowing behind him. At the doorway he turns on his heel and says, "Possibly no one's warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger or Swift are hissing instructions in his ear."

Neville goes scarlet. It's bad enough that Snape bullies Neville in his own classes, let alone doing it in front of other teachers.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand you," I glare at him. "I don't speak asshole."

Professor Snape's lip curls and Professor Lupin raises his eyebrows.

"I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation," Lupin says, "and I am sure he will perform it admirably."

Neville's face goes, if possible, even redder. Snape glares, but he leaves, shutting the door with a snap.

"Now, then," says Professor Lupin, beckoning the class towards the end of the room, where there's nothing except an old wardrobe in which the teachers keep their spare robes. As Professor Lupin goes to stand next to it, the wardrobe gives a sudden wobble, banging off the wall.

"Nothing to worry about," says Professor Lupin calmly, as a few people jump backwards in alarm. "There's a Boggart in there."

Most people seem to feel that this is something to worry about. Neville gives Professor Lupin a look of pure terror, and Seamus Finnigan eyes the now rattling doorknob apprehensively.

"Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces," says Professor Lupin. "Wardrobes, the gap beneath beds, the cupboards under sinks - I once met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock. This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the Headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third-years some practise.

"So the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a Boggart?"

Hermione puts up her hand.

"It's a shape-shifter," she says. "It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most."

"Couldn't have put it better myself," says Professor Lupin, and Hermione glows. "So the Boggart sitting in the darkness within had not yet assumed a form. He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. Nobody knows what a Boggart looks like when he is alone, but when I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us most fears.

"This means," says Professor Lupin, choosing to ignore Neville's small splutter of terror, "that we have a huge advantage over the Boggart before we begin. Have you spotted it, Harry?"

"Er - because there are so many of us, it won't know what shape it should be?"

"Precisely," says Professor Lupin, and Hermione puts her hand down looking a little disappointed. "It's always best to have company when you're dealing with a Boggart. He becomes confused. Which should he become, a headless corpse or a flesh-eating slug? I once saw a Boggart make that very mistake - tried to frighten two people at once and turned himself into half a slug. Not remotely frightening.