Steal Your Heart

Chapter 46: Move on

Lumingon ako para tignan ang wall clock ng kwarto ko. It's five minutes before two. Five minutes na lang at mapapanuod na ang music video na ginawa namin ni Axel last week. I'll finally hear the song.

Dahan-dahan akong naupo sa kama at maingat kong binuhat ang box na dala ni Kuya Brent para ibaba ito sa harap ko. Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas bago ako nagkaro'n ng lakas para buksan ito.

Sakto namang nagsimula ang music video sa tv. Pansamantala kong inilipat do'n ang tingin ko at nakita ko si Axel na nakaupo sa harap ng piano habang nasa gitna siya ng grass field.

There are times
When I'm lyin' in my bed
How I bellow and cry from this stupid get ♪

Pinakinggan ko ang lyrics habang ini-isa-isa ko ang laman ng box. Una kong kinuha ang isang music box. Binuksan ko ito at tumunog agad ang music box version ng kanta na tinugtog niya sa akin sa rooftop noong inaya niya ako para sa senior prom.

A dancing couple popped up in the middle of the music box as it slowly rotated. It's just like our prom night, it's beautiful...

Kinuha ko ang maliit na papel na nakaipit sa gilid ng maliit na espasyo nito at binasa ko 'yon.

"March 27, 20** — It has been a month since you left. It's our graduation day today and I'm a mess. They played the video of your salutation speech and I can't help but miss you more, Addie. I'm sorry."

As I keep on
Diggin' my face
In these cold hands of mine
Heaven knows how embittered, I am ♪

Nanlabo ang mga mata ko dahil sa mga luha pero agad ko itong pinigilan. Kinuha ko ang isang album na silang lima bilang Xscape ang cover. May sticky note na nakalagay sa likod nito kaya binasa ko rin ito.

"August 28, 20** — This is our first full-length album as a band. Dreams do come true but I really wish you were here to share this with me. Because you know what? You'll always top that list. You will always be my dream, Addie. And I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me."

'Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings
And made her mine
For all eternity ♪

Sunod kong kinuha ang ilang elephant plushies at may nakataling note sa trunk ng isa sa mga ito.

"July 29, 20** — It's been a year, Adds. I've missed two of your birthdays already, how many birthdays will I continue to miss without you here? I miss you. Please come back. Come back safe. Come back healthy. Come back to me."

Now this angel has flown away from me
Thought I had the strength to set her free
I did what I did
Because I love her so ♪

Marami pang laman ang box na kung anu-ano tulad ng jewelries, dried flowers, art materials, iba pang albums... pero ang isa pang nakakuha ng atensyon ko ay ang isang cd na nasa thin case. Wala itong cover pero may papel na nakaipit sa loob nito.

"April 25, 20** — This is my first demo for my solo extended play and I want you to have it. Writing these songs kept me sane for the past three years. I miss you, Addie. I miss you every single day."

Will she ever find her way
Back home to me ♪

"Adds! Why the hell are you crying!? May masakit ba sa'yo!?" natatarantang sabi ni Ethos nang pumasok siya sa loob kwarto ko at agad akong umiling habang yakap ko ang demo tape ni Axel.

"Wala... wala... I-I'm okay," tanggi ko. Tinignan niya ang box sa harap ko at ang music video na nag-pe-play sa tv bago niya ako niyakap.

"Shhh..." bulong niya. Iyak lang ako nang iyak sa dibdib niya habang sinusubukan niya akong pakalmahin.

"This is... this is just so... unfair..."

"I know," mahinahong sagot niya. "I know, Adds."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," paulit-ulit kong sabi at naramdaman ko ang paglapat ng mga labi niya sa noo ko.

"I understand," bulong niya. "Come back to him, Adds. Stop his misery. Stop yours."

"Ethos... paano ka?" mahina kong tanong. "Hindi pwede. Hindi gano'n kadali 'yon."

"Addie, you're the one who's making this complicated," sabi niya habang masuyo niyang hinahaplos ang pisngi ko. Malungkot ang mga mata niya pero nagawa niya pa ring ngumiti sa akin. "Axel will take you back in a heartbeat. Don't worry about me."

"Ethos... hindi naman talaga gano'n kadali. I need time to sort things out. I need you."

"You don't," diretso niyang sabi at isinandal niya ang noo niya sa akin. "It hurts but we can move on."

"Ethos..."

"Shhh..." saway niya sa akin at dahan-dahan niyang hinawi ang buhok ko. "Guard your heart, okay? But don't be stubborn. I know you're ready."

"You're the one who's stubborn," balik ko sa kanya habang hawak ko ang kamay niya. "Letting me go just like this..."

"I'm just doing the right thing," sagot niya.

"Thank you for bringing back my smile," nakangiti kong sabi kahit na may luha pa ring umaagos mula sa mga mata ko.

"That's because I love you," sincere niyang sabi at muli niya akong niyakap. "And this is me letting you go. Be happy, okay? I will seriously beat Axel to a pulp if he lets you go again."

"Be happy too, okay? Promise me," I whispered as I hugged him back.

"I will be, Addie. It will take some time, but I will be."

***

Song:
Heaven Knows – Orange and Lemons