We Call This Writing

Voice, Point of View, & You

Let me show you some examples, written in third person, that still clearly show different voices of different characters. These examples come from my experience in roleplaying.

He left his hand on her back. Something about it made it easier. Part of his brain was still telling him to forget about it. Probably the stupid, sex-driven part though. The part that focused on immediate pleasure that didn't take into consideration the consequences. Nervously, he bit his lip. "You know what I mean?" Flynn asked carefully. He wished to avoid coming off jealous and territorial. But that was probably exactly what he was becoming.

Character #1, Flynn. He's got some specific phrasing I use. His signature move is to run his fingers through his hair. Compare to Violetta...

"Your savior from boring, well-dressed old men," Violetta teased, elation crinkling the corners of her eyes. For a brief moment, her face relaxed into an expression more earnest, "your violet, but I never shrink." For many years Violetta thought her parents had given her a name too delicate and fragile for her. She could see now the things it was. A flower, a question posed between two potential lovers. A symbol of something that could not always be spoken. A color neither cool nor warm but somewhere in between. Perhaps that was what she was, neither warm nor cool, a wordless question. A secret.

Without proper context, you can still see that the two examples are vastly different. Both of them are flirting a little, but handle it differently. Violetta has a kind of elegance in the word choices that translate even though you're not following her in first person. There are less hard consonants. It flows. It suits her personality and Flynn's awkward turns of phrase and bluntness suit his.

This is a thing to think about when developing your voice. What are your word choices doing to the flow of your story? Do you pick the flowy, euphonic nature of words that roll off the tongue, good for romance and heavy metaphors? Or do you pick synonyms chock full of radical consonants, hard sounds that give you abrupt staccato when read off the page like a hard-hitting action scene?

Then there's the issue of developing dialogue in either perspective that differentiates characters from each other. Characters can't all be sarcastic, smarmy bastards.

Let me let you in on my voice development cheat sheet when I'm trying to distinguish dialogue and voice between characters. I don't have a chart for each character detailing what my choices for all of these are. I pick one or two identifiers to color my characters.

Everyone/Everybody: Keep this consistent per character. It's an easy way to create just a smidgen of difference in language so all your characters stop sounding the same. Do they say everyone/no one or do the say everybody/nobody? I personally thing everybody lends itself to a more rough-and-tumble kind of character. It's a little less smooth, a little less eloquent.

The Trail-Off Word: How do they end the phrase 'So, do you want to hang out or...'? Do you want to hang out or something? Do you want to hang out or whatever? Or no trail-off word at all. Maybe the character is too firm and straightforward to let their questions trail. Do you want to hang out?

The Tic: Not every character has to have one of these, and it should be related to their character somehow. Don't let it get too crazy or random. Do it enough and a reader picks up on what it means. Flynn's tic is pushing his hair back off his forehead. Such a signature gesture that in a scene when he is wearing a mask, he is recognized the second he moves to flick his hair away. Lighting up a cigarette when nervous. Chewing on thumbnails. Eye-rolling (be careful not to over-use). Kate's tic was rubbing her arms like she was cold (if you're an ND fan, you proooobably picked up on that one.) Rhys' tic was all about eye contact and looming. Jane tended to adopt other people's tic (bonus point if you noticed that one.)

The 'Catch Phrase': Not the best term for this, but it kind of gets the idea across. Something no other character says. They don't even have to say it that often. It's just something that, even without a dialogue tag, you'd know who was speaking. On of these for me was a character who always said shut your mouth rather than shut up. To broaden this up, it doesn't need to be a specific phrase. It can be dialogue that has a consistent theme. Who is the character who will always ask are you alright? before anyone else? That says something about a character. Squad Mom is always telling people they should have brought a jacket. Which character will always call others out on their nonsense? This can be more powerful than word choice in a lot of cases. In Natalie's Diary, Dean is always eager to move forward. Kate is always the one who will be apprehensive and cautious. Don't hand out dialogue for free. It needs to belong to someone. The ultimate goal is, in theory, that if you took at aaallllll the dialogue tags, you would still be able to tell who's speaking by their vernacular and their concerns. If you think your dialogue might be too bland, test out the no-tags thing and adjust until it's crystal clear. 

Selected Specificity: Specificity is generally great, but there's also a level of characterization you can accomplish with it. For example, while I'd prefer to say 'sleek sedans' and 'rusted pick-ups' over saying 'cars drove by', Jane adds an extra level of specificity to it in Natalie's Diary. She likes cars. She's into mechanics. She lists almost every car in Natalie's Diary by its make. 'Cause that's her deal. Tim from my spreadsheet example in previous chapter is all about music. If there is a song playing, he refers to it by name and artist and denotes whether or not it's a cover. I probably wouldn't have any other character get that detailed. But if it's their thing, let them get specific. I think too many characters are missing a passion. Give your characters a hobby. Even if it's not entirely plot related, let it color their thought process. Let them think in car metaphors or baseball analogies. Let it be a part of them.

Latinate vs. Germanic: Oh, boy. This is if you're getting REALLY into dialogue and character word choice. So, here's the break-down. English is a seriously messed up language that mugs other languages in dark alleys and steals their pocket change. Mostly, though, it steals from Latin roots and Germanic roots. This is why we have so many blood synonyms for every bloody word. Half of them are Germanic and half of them are Latinate.

Here's where you can use this to your advantage. If you have a word and you want to use a synonym, you can use the Latinate/Germanic debate to decide on which synonym to use. Latinate typically gives off an educated, euphonic kind of vibe. Germanic is more associated with the layman or the everyman. Your farmers and your workers. Latinate is like university and Germanic is like college. Germanic gets the job done and gets to the point. Latinate is more scholarly.

I'm planning on using this especially for a book I have planned where a lot of the characters are bilingual, communicating in Europe. One speaks Danish and English and one speaks French and English. In switching back and forth, I imagine in my head, it would be easiest for someone to use Germanic rooted English words if half the time they speak Danish and vice versa for the girl speaking French.

But this is a level of dialogue obsession that you are by no means required to get into. This is for people like me who are so crazy about writing dialogue and creating character voice that they write whole book chapters about it.

All of these voice tips work for either first person or third person. This is stuff to think about to give your characters unique dialogue and to help you develop unique style based on word choice, flow, sound, and subtle characterization.   

PS, the feature thing... so, I'm posting way too fast 'cause people are asking me questions that I don't feel I can sufficiently answer in a comment. So the draw thing will done weekly. Thursday, perhaps? I'm still figuring this out.