Jess ran as fast as she could and chased after Prince, but her attempt was futile. There was no way she could catch him. His bike quickly disappeared into the blackness, almost as if the dark of night had completely absorbed him into nothingness. Jess sank to her knees and sobbed with her head in her hands. Did she really just witness Prince riding off to his death?
Prince raced his purple motorcycle down the old dirt road at dizzying speeds. No trace of reasoning crossed his mind; his impulsive thoughts completely clouded his brain. He rode across the graffiti bridge and stopped his bike abruptly. He hopped off, not even bothering to put his kickstand down, and he let his bike fall over on its side in the tall grass at the base of the bridge. In his crazed frenzy, he stormed down to the shore of the lake, his heart beating wildly. Never before had he felt such a disorderly mix of emotions before: stress, anxiety, depression, anger, sadness, total chaos... he felt like he was going to have a heart attack right there and then. But he's too young... he's only 25.
He paced back and forth on the shore breathing rapidly, trying to stop his heart from pounding audibly through his ribcage and stop his hands from shaking. The wind picked up, and thick, dark clouds rolled in, blocking out the moon... ceasing it's reflection across the choppy surface of the lake. The air grew colder and the night grew darker.
Prince finally stopped pacing back and forth and sat down on a large rock right at the water's edge... the same rock he and Apollonia had sat on the first night he met her. The wind created small waves that rippled across the lake's surface and lapped up against the edge of the rock. Prince gazed blankly out across the water, drowning in his turmoil of thoughts.
"I've lost it all... I lost the will to go on... there is no point in continuing my miserable existence. They said it would get better, but it's only gotten worse. And now I begin the plummet to hell. If God cared about me, then why would he let my life go to shit like this? I prayed to him every morning and every night. I guess God's given up on me too. Maybe I should've listened to my father back when he was still alive... maybe I should've listened to Wendy, to Morris, to Jess, to Apollonia... Maybe I should've listened to what people said. Or maybe I should've just given up a long time ago."
Prince pulled the pistol out of his belt loop and held it in his trembling hands, running his fingers over the cold metal.
"I use to think this was the coward's way out... but now I realize it's the easy way out. Who the fuck am I tryn'a kid, I am a coward. Fuck, I should've ended things long ago... before things got so much worse. I should've gone through with hanging myself on the night my father shot himself. All I had to do was jump. It was so easy. But for some reason, I didn't want to die then. I thought that maybe life was still worth it... shit was I wrong. I let myself live, and look what happened. Apollonia is dead because of me. My baby never got the chance to take its first breath of life because of me. I destroyed people's lives... people I actually cared about. I destroyed my band, I destroyed my career... and now I'm destroying poor Jezebel's heart... But I have to do this... I have to end myself now before one more person get hurt 'cause of me. I'm like a grenade, without warning I explode and destroy everyone close to me. I refuse to let one more person be in pain because of my sorry existence. No one will miss me, anyways... Jess can learn to move on."
Prince withdrew two bullets from his pocket and loaded them into the chamber of the gun: one to end his life, and a second one incase the first one doesn't end his life fast enough.
"I'm sorry, Jezebel... I know you still care... but you'll find your life will greatly improve without me in it. I hated to be such a burden to you. Dad, I'm just like you... a failure of a musician and a coward who was a burden on the world. Apollonia... my dearest Apples... I'm so sorry... I never meant to cause you any sorrow, I never meant to cause you any pain... I'll get to see our child now... I can finally find out if it's a boy or a girl. We can think of a name together. Apollonia, I'll see you soon... and we can spend eternity together in the afterworld. I'll always be with you, and we can raise our baby together... just like you wanted."
The chilled wind blew once more, disturbing the dark waters of the lake. Tears streamed down Prince's face as he raised a shaky hand and aimed the gun under his chin. His heart beat out of his chest, and he could hear the sound of it thumping over his shallow breathing. Everything else around him was dead silent, as if the world had stopped turning for a moment. He held the gun under his chin, thinking for a minute about how to do this quickly and painlessly. He moved the gun to the side of his head, clicked off the safety, and aimed it at his temple. His finger reached for the trigger.
Just as his finger applied the slightest amount of pressure to the trigger, his hand began trembling out of control, and he couldn't keep a steady aim on his target. Worried that he may miss his shot this way, he stuck the barrel of the pistol in his mouth. He gazed up at the cloudy night sky and drew in one last deep breath. And before any hint of regret could creep into his brain, he squinted his eyes shut and pulled the trigger.
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*Click*
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The gun didn't fire... the bullet jammed in the cartridge. Prince slowly opened his eyes, stunned and shaken. He drew in a shaky breath, and the regret instantly flooded in.
The dark clouds in the sky blew away, and the cold wind ceased. The violently-rippling lake stilled and became calm. The full moon shone bright in the night sky, and all the stars seemed to appear out of the blackness all at once. A moonbeam twinkled down in Prince's tear-filled eyes. All the emotions hit him at once. He instantly pulled the gun out of his mouth and tossed in far into the dark tranquil waters of the lake. Then he sobbed hard into his hands, letting out all the feelings he had kept locked up so tightly inside.
He regretted pulling the trigger. He regretted ever deciding to try to kill himself. He really didn't want to die... not yet, not now, not like this. He thanked God the gun didn't go off. And he dreaded what would've happened if it did.
He cried and cried until he had no more tears left. Then he dried his eyes and breathed in a deep breath of the cool crisp night air. He instantly began to feel better. He sat on the rock for a while gazing out upon the serenity of the moonlight on the water. And for the first time in forever, his thoughts were tranquil and he felt at peace with his mind.
Then his thoughts shifted to Jess and how worried sick she must be right now. He got up off the rock and walked back towards the bridge where his motorcycle lay. He paused a moment to look over all the colorful graffiti under the moonlight, and he traced his fingers over some purple spray-painted letters that spelled 'HOPE.' Picking his bike up off the ground, he hopped on and started the engine. Then he looked back up at the bright full moon and said out loud, "Apollonia, I knew you always had my back. Thank you for saving me again. I love you too, and someday I'll be reunited with you. But for now, while I still walk this earth, I could use a guardian angel like you to watch over me."
A genuine smile formed on his pink lips before he drove off back to the club under the watchful eye of the full moon.
YOU ARE READING
The Eye of the Storm - Sequel to The Oncoming Storm
Fanfiction"You don't listen! You never listened..." Dark clouds begin to surround the relationship Prince has built up with Apollonia. He loves her... but can he change his ways to save them from sinking? Can he save himself? Or will he finally find himself...
