Maybe it's not the best thing but I could honestly care less about anything right now. Maybe that's not the right way to put it. I feel very content. I could just sit on the floor and listen to Nirvana and be perfectly fine. I could lose all my friends and be fine just sitting alone. That's not what I want to happen, but I'm realizing that whatever happens, I'll be fine. My scars, those are okay, my body could be better, a lot better, but it's fine the way it is now. I'm far from loving myself but I've found that you don't need to love yourself. Just be content. Relish in the small things. Drink too many cups of tea, watch the sunset until the sun rises, stay up till four AM reading fan fiction. Take long drives to no where, dress in whatever you want, leave your room a mess. Because, guess what, it's your life to live! You don't always need to be happy, honestly I think the fact that I spent most of my summer in a constant state of depression helped me. Play with your pet, make sure you drank enough water, go to sleep if you need. I don't think I'm happy, but I am content. I am alive, I have things to look forward to, and everything will be fine. I'm starting guitar lessons soon, I'm getting a jacket I've been wanting, I'm dyeing my hair, I'm changing. When I turn eighteen I'll get those piercings I want, I'll move out, I'll get tattoos, I'll find things I love and I will cherish them. I will stay in those good moments, I'll go to concerts, make new friends, become part of a band maybe. Everything is changing, so I'm going to change with it.
