On Broken Wings

~1~

He backhands me so hard that my vision dims and my knees buckle. What's happening? Terror grips at my insides and I am afraid I'm going to pass out.

"You're all the same! Stupid bitches who think that they're in charge!" He kicks me in the side, and I feel my ribs crack from the impact. He rips open my blouse and tears off my bra, exposing me to him. He crushes my chest with his hand, squeezing until I cry out in pain.

"It's time for you to learn a lesson about consequences," he leers at me. My head's spinning, and I'm struggling to breathe. He grips both of my wrists in one of his when I attempt to lash out at him, and uses his other to tear my underwear away like he had my top.

Rape. Murder.

My mother's ravings come back to me as he unzips his pants.

Rape. Murder.

I struggle but can't stop him.

Rape. Murder.

When he's done, he throws my skirt at me and yanks me to my feet.

"If you tell anyone about this, they won't believe you, because you are a whore, and I am a respected educator. If you tell anyone about this, your sister will be next. Understand?"

I nod numbly as he ties my shirt shut around my bruised breasts. He pushes me out of the office and tells me to go home. I start walking.

Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

I must have walked for an hour before coming back into myself. My eyes flood with tears and I lean over into a bush and vomit. My face hurts, and I have to keep my right arm tucked into my side to hold my cracked ribs. There's a sharp ache down there, but I can't think about that right now. I force myself to continue towards my house, hoping that no one has noticed that I'm not there.

Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.

I try to sneak in the side door, but the moment I enter, my mother calls out, "where have you been!"

She looks at me with manic eyes, and I know that she's having another one of her 'episodes'.

"Sleazing around the neighborhood, I see," she sneers at me. I can't take it right now, and burst out in uncontrollable sobs.

"Shut up you worthless slut!" She pulls her hand up, and I have just enough warning to turn my back to her before her arm swings down, tearing into me repeatedly with her favorite bamboo switch.

She grabs me by the hair when she's done and drags me upstairs. I fight her, but she is much bigger than I am, and I'm hurting. She shoves me into the shower and slams out of the bathroom. I continue to cry from pain and the trauma I've just been through. She comes barreling back in moments later with a stool and carrying a bag over her shoulder. She puts the stool down behind me and orders me to "get on."

When I don't immediately jump up, she grabs a handful of my hair and drags me by force until I'm sitting on the stool. I'm gasping from the pain, and don't realize until she's already done it that she's tied my wrists behind my back and to the chair. I beg for her to stop, but she just slaps me and ties each of my ankles to the stool as well.

"Mom! Please stop!" She cranks on the shower to full power and angles it to spray directly at my face. "Please, mommy, no," I beg.

She slaps me again and shouts, "I'm not your mom you little skank. Your father had an affair, and your bitch mother killed herself when he chose me instead of her. He had his fun and I ended up with you!"