The bestest foods

Breakfast foods

1.) waffles

I like waffles best with fruit or chocolate chips or maple syrup or sprinkles or whipped cream or Nutella or butter or-
GOSH DARNIT CALM YOUR SELF!!!!
Ok, ok, alter-ego, stop yelling at me you annoying derp!!!
FINE!!!
Anywho....

2.)French toast
I like French toast even though it is dipped in eggs which I despise because I know they are out to get me and eat my spleen and use my soul to water their weird eggy alien plants and I'm not crazy!!!!
Yes, you are.
What?!? No!!!
Everyone says it.
No they don't! Only my parents, and the doctors, and my friends, and my teachers, and random strangers, and all the people I meet says that, and what do they know?!?
What?!? That is every-never mind. You know what??? I QUIT!!!
Finally, maybe I can actually get through a chapter without being interrupted, or yelled at, or having my sanity questioned, or who even knows what else!!!

3.) bacon
Bacon is the bestest breakfast meat ever (sorry not sorry, lame other meats!!!) bacon is one of the main reasons I could never be a vegetarian, so great job bacon, for making me unable to be healthy and stop the murders of countless tasty creatures!!! That makes sense, right? RIGHT?!?

4.) pancakes
I'm running out of material here...
Um...Pancakes are... Good. They taste very, um... Pancakey???
Hello again.
WHAT?!? ALTER-EGO?!? I THOUGHT YOU QUIT?!?
Well, as you may have guessed, it's a bit hard to find work when you're a crazed alter-ego!!!
WOSKDIWKSSKQLSOXIWKWOSKEKQLSODKRMFJRJF!!!!!!!!!!

5.) oatmeal
I really like oatmeal. Especially with stuffs like brown sugar, cinnamon, bananas, raisins, apples, cranberries, walnuts, whipped cream-
Ok, ok, we get it, you're obsessed!!!
What?!?
I said: ok, ok, we get it, you're ob-
I KNEW THAT, ALTER-EGO!!!

That's the end of chapter one!!!
For a sneak peak of chapter 2, scroll down:

HAHA!!! I TRICKED YOU YOU CANT KNOW UNTIL I WRITE THE NEXT ONE!!!
BYE ;)