Requiem for a Jester

Chapter One

I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation...

"Oh my God, Harley turn that down!"

"Wassa matter, Cats; you don't like Joan Jett?" She says, turning down the stereo.

"No, Joan Jett is fine; the volume was just a bit much," Selina said, holding out a sack of various items. "Here I think I finally got everything on your list. How's the Leg?"

She stood and balanced on her left leg. "Ya know what Cats? Seems pretty good to me!" She then pulled her right leg up behind her to where it was almost touching her head.

"Wow, Harl, where did you learn to do that? Wait, maybe I don't want to know..."

"Oh, don't be silly, Cats. There's prolly a lotta 'bout be you don't know." She began rummaging through the various clothes that Selina had brought.

"Actually, I really don't know much at all. I know you were Joker's psychiatrist, and he basically turned you into Harley Quinn."

She smiled. "No, that's not entirely true. I developed Harley in grad school."

Selina crossed her legs on the floor and looked at Harley. "So... Tell me a story."

The smile left her face. "Well, it started when I lost my folks back in elementary school. I was raised in the system. You know, bouncing from orphanage to foster home and back again."

Selina raised an eyebrow. Although it was Harley speaking, it wasn't the bubbly psycho she had grown accustomed to over the past three weeks. "Yes, I know; I grew up in the system too. Go on."

"Well, I got pretty good at gymnastics in high school; good enough in fact that I got a free ride to state college because of it. So good, that I almost made the Olympic team. But I didn't, and my guidance counselor told me I needed to focus on something else. So I took an aptitude test and psychology came out on top. So I kept competing in gymnastic meets to retain my scholarship, and added a second major. But in grad school, I had to pay my own way. I got some grants and loans, but I still had to have a job to pay for everything else. So I became a waitress... Hey! Quit laughing..."

"I'm sorry Harl, I'm just having trouble picturing..."

"Anyway... I was a crappy waitress. I mean, yeah; I got the orders right and kept the coffee filled, but I never did well with tips. So one night, I stopped in this little cafe for a cup of coffee and there was this waitress. She was loud and boisterous and flirty, and she walked away from every table with a wad of cash. So I studied her and based Harley off of her."

"Wait; wait... The infamous Harley Quinn was based off a waitress? That just seems..."

"Yeah, I know. Lemme finish. So I became this loud, ditzy, flirtatious waitress; and I made a lot of money. But, then I discovered that I really liked Harley. She was fun and confident and the life of the party. She began to take over. I got to the point that I became Harley, and I just slipped back into Harleen when I went to class. If I were to self-diagnose, I had a mild form of schizophrenia; two complete personalities occupying one body. Well, after college I landed what I thought was my dream job; junior psycho-therapist at Arkham Asylum. It wasn't until later that I discovered that the patients there were so insane that no one wanted to work there. I was about to quit when..."