Double dates, Deanna knew there was a reason why she never went on them. They suck ass and it's extremely awkward. You spend the entire night subconsciously competing with the other couple or if your date is being an asshole you're stuck because walking out to preserve your pride would mean leaving your friend hanging and that would be a complete violation of the girl code.
Tonight Dee was on the double date from hell and she was forced to ride it out even though the wheels already fell off. From the door Deanna knew this wasn't going to go well. First off his name was was Raymond but he insisted on everyone calling him Ray-Ray not Ray but Ray-Ray. You would think because he was pushing twenty-six he would have matured a little and cut off the extra Ray or be a man and not cringe when being called by his actual name. Deanna's ass barely began to warm her seat at dinner and she already found herself disliking everything about the man sitting across from her. She hated the old school style pimp limp in his walk down to his run down church shoes. His hair was in dire need to a haircut and a proper shave never killed anyone so why he refused to line up or trim his overgrown messy beard was beyond her.
"You're not feeling Ray-Ray are you." Tahlia asked. They were finally alone after excusing themselves to the restroom.
"If I haven't made it obvious enough already NO Tahlia I am NOT feeling RAYMOND!" Deanna looked in the mirror flipping her side bang so it wasn't in her eyes. "He isn't my type."
Tahlia kissed her teeth. "You have a type?"
"What are you trying to say that because I don't wear a size six or have light bright skin like you I don't reserve the Right to have a type? Because a big girl should hop on the first guy that shows her a little attention because her choices are limited? Right Lia!"
Deanna didn't appreciate the look on Tahlia's face or the tone in her voice and Tahlia didn't appreciate how Deanna was making this about her size when that isn't what Tahlia was trying to say at all.
"I'm just saying how do you know he's your type if you won't even bother to get to know him? Why be so quick to shut him down?" Tahlia paused. "Is it because of his big girl comment?."
That might be it. Yep that was definitely it! Deanna may have been able to get past his poor fashion sense and his lack of grooming. His physical appearance was something that can be tweaked and worked with but she didn't want to date any man who's first words to her were "Wow, you're really pretty for a big girl!"
It wasn't even about being called big Deanna wasn't blind she saw herself she was a big girl in a circle with nothing but skinny bitches but comments like 'pretty for a big girl' was just as insulting to her as 'pretty for a black girl' . No woman wanted to hear an ignorant backhanded compliment like that and Deanna was no different.
"Why couldn't Pretty just be Pretty?"
"Dee trust me he didn't mean it like that." Tahlia tried to defend him and save this double date from going up in flames before it officially started.
"Oh yeah?" Deanna narrowed her eyes at her friend twisting up full lips. "How did he mean it?"
"Girl you know.." Tahlia trailed off trying to think of something and her brain came up empty. "Just try to forget what he said. Give him a chance you might actually like him."
"Fine!" For her best friend Deanna was willing to quit rolling her eyes and pretending she didn't hear him when he tries to speak. After all the man was paying for her meal and did bring her flowers...half looked limp and damn near dead but it's the thought that counts. Right?
~~~~~~
"So Deanna do you cook?" Ray-Ray asked.
"I wouldn't call myself a five-star chef or anything but I do know my way around the kitchen." For the first time she answered one of his questions without giving him attitude.
"That's wassup I need me a woman that could fry up some good fried chicken!"
"I'm actually not really a fan of fried foods."
"Really looking at you I couldn't tell." Deanna's jaw dropped and Tahlia's grew wide both in shock by what he just said.
Will nudged him roughly with his elbow. "Watch it Ray." Will warned him between clenched teeth. Ray-Ray was Will's stepfather's nephew they weren't even truly family and Will wouldn't dare consider the guy a friend. The only reason why he was here tonight was because he was the only guy free on short notice and Tahlia wanted to put this double date together before Deanna changed her mind. Will wouldn't blame Dee if she slapped Ray-Ray across the face and walked out the restaurant.
"Excuse me!" Deanna started but stopped when she noticed the look Tahlia was giving her. She took a deep breath and swallowed her pride once again. "So Ray-Ray what do you do for a living?" She stabbed her fork down into the food on her plate imagining it was Ray's eye.
"I um I install Carpets." He nodded proudly. "From time to time. I work with my father."
"Interesting." It really wasn't. "We could use a new carpet. Isn't that right Lia?" Deanna was desperate to bring another person into this dry conversation or else it was bound to flat-line.
"Uh-um yeah carpets I love me some carpets!" There it was, Lia's horrible attempt at a save and it only got worse. "Carpets are just awesome."
"Carpets are awesome? Babe what are you talking about?" Will asked.
"I was just thinking about it. Like damn we can use a good carpet those tile floors get cold." She tried to explain but it only made Will laugh.
"You laughing at me now!" Tahlia snapped and that was the start to their 'Lovers spat' and that only meant one thing, Will was spending a night so they can have their weird ass version of makeup sex.
~~~~~~
Deanna couldn't get home fast enough. This night was a waste and all she wanted to do was run a hot bubble bath and eat her vanilla swiss almond ice cream. Tahlia was still on her 'You're laughing at me cause you think I'm a clown' rant.
"I don't know why you comin here Will take your ass home!" Lia forcefully pushed her key into the door and pushing it open. "Laugh at that!"
"Eh I think I'll stay awhile." Will picked her up and slung her over his shoulder slapping his lady on her ass playfully making his way towards her bedroom.
"William Carnell James put me down right now!" Lia shouted banging her little fist down on his muscular back and as amusing as the sight was Deanna couldn't get the annoyed look off of her face. Ray-Ray insisted on walking her to the door even after she told him it was okay to leave.
"Good night Ray-Ray." Deanna gave him the most convincing smile that wasn't convincing at all. Still, the guy wasn't ready to give up so easily.
"I was thinking I'd come in for a nightcap." Raymond leaned up against the door frame giving Deanna what he thought was a look of seduction running his tongue across his crooked teeth. "Maybe you can show me what the inside of your bedroom looks like."
For the first time since this shitty night started Deanna laughed. Did he really think he was getting any of her goods? "Sorry to burst your delusional little bubble but uh Raymond you thought wrong," Deanna said pushing him just enough so she could slam the door shut and lock it.
"Fuck you! I didn't want yo fat ass anyway." Ray -Ray shouted from the other side of the door kicking it hard with his foot.
Dee shook her head and went straight to the freezer to grab her ice cream and promised herself to never let a friend hook her up from now on she'd manage her own love life.
