proud. -n.h.

One.

I watched as the rain raced down the taxi window, eventually dissipating into other raindrops. I couldn't believe I just up and left but I had to. There are so many more opportunities here in America for me. I could become something bigger than I could've ever imagined. But I couldn't keep my mind just set on this. I was saddened when I thought of what I had done to her. Left, that is.

Sadly, no matter how much I wanted to think about how exciting this should be for me, I just couldn't help but let my mind drift to what my mother would think when she saw the note laying on her desk by her windowsill. Would she cry for me? Would she try and reach my new number? Would she even be able to process it all? I just up and left her. No notice. No good-bye.

That's one thing that I hate more anything else in the world. Good-byes. This wasn't exactly a good-bye though, I'm moving back after 2 years. I even left mum that in the letter. I'm not great at keeping my promises but when it came to mum, I never broke them. I promised her I'd make her proud and that's exactly what I plan to do.

❁❁❁

"Miss, we've arrived." I was awoken by the gruff looking taxi driver. I slowly opened my eyes and glanced at my watch seeing it was 2:45 a.m. I thanked the man quickly and made my way through the quiet neighborhood. New York wasn't my first pick but it would work for me. It was beautiful at night, I will say that at the least.

My eyes widened as they gazed the twinkling lights hanging from apartment windows and small houses. I always loved Christmas. The snow, cookies, lights, and family. That's one thing I could never get enough of. I simply adored my family. Being out on my own like I am right now is a very frightening thing for me.

I grew up with a very large family. I had many, many cousins. My mother had 6 other siblings and my father had 4 brothers and 3 sisters. I myself was a little different. I only had 1 brother. His name was Luke. It still hurts when I talk about him. He isn't around anymore. I don't like it whenever mum mentions him or compares me to him. Luke was my idol. I looked up to him like you could never imagine. He was the best older brother I could have ever asked for. He made sure I was cared for and that I was content and happy. He was so kind and always had a huge warm grin on his face. I miss him a lot. Ever since the accident I've changed. A lot.

I never smile as much as I used to. I'm much more quiet and my mother had become very concerned. She would continuously ask me if everything was okay when in all truth it wasn't. It isn't. I'll never be the same again. I always told her that I was fine and that it was all going to be alright but that was only to comfort her. I myself was breaking down inside. Trying to recompose myself was like trying to walk on water. It was impossible.

I wiped a loose tear away from my cheek and began to walk a bit faster considering it was -7 out. I wasn't worrying about where I was going or when I was going to get there I just wanted to get somewhere warm.

My eyes scanned the streets trying to find a small coffee shop or pub. My feet picked up they're pace a bit more when I spotted a Starbucks just a block away. But soon enough I wish I wouldn't have been in such a hurry. I felt my feet fall from under me and my bum came crashing down onto the ice that scattered the sidewalk.

"Shit." I whispered as I tried to catch my breath that was knocked out of me as I fell. I closed my eyes and laid back on the ground feeling the aching pain in my lower back region dull and slowly come to a stop. I heard someone speak up to me but I kept my eyes shut as I listened.

"Need any help, love?" My eyes instantly fluttered open at the sound of that Irish accent. It was so intriguing. So beautiful. I looked up to see a young handsome blonde man standing in front of me holding out his hand. He smiled down to me and I swear I saw his eyes gleam with interest.