MARRY ME 1: "Meddling Friends"

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"Marry Me"

"Do you think Ash is a lesbian?" Sarah asked her friend who was busy fiddling with her phone opposite the side of her.

"I really don't get the lesbian vibe off of Ashley," Jennifer answered with an indifferent shrug. Her eyes glued to her phone.

"Well," Sarah said thinking out loud, "she has several suitors and we even set her up with different guys but she remains single. I mean — none of the boys manage to catch her attention and, to think, she never had a boyfriend. Not even once!"

Jennifer adjusted her glasses before giving her friend her full attention. "Well, she never had a girlfriend so perhaps she is asexual?"

Sarah looked at Jennifer as if her friend screamed murder and said, "Asexual? How will she know if she is asexual if she never has sex in the first place?"

"Seriously?" Jennifer blurted out incredulously looking at Jennifer as if she was a special kind of stupid. "You do not need to have sex to know you are asexual. Duh..."

"She never tells us that she is asexual."

"My gosh, Sarah, Ashley's sexuality and love life are none of your business." Jennifer swept her hands impatiently in front of her friend.

"Everybody deserves to fall in love..." Sarah proclaimed with a dreamy sigh.

Jennifer's mouth pursed in irritation. "That is still none of your business but who are you to judge if Ashley is a lesbian or asexual?"

"I am really not judging Ash; it is just that..."

"Nah, you are judging her." Jennifer cut her friend off in exasperation.

"Of course not!"

"Yes you are. Are you not listening to what you are talking or perhaps your brain is too empty that you have nothing else to do but to talk about other people's love lives?"

"No!" Sarah glared in offense.

"Why are you so obsessed with Ashley's love life?"

"It is not that I am obsessed..."

"What?" Jennifer interrupted Sarah; her eyes torn between hilarity and incredulity. "Confirmed. You are not really listening to what you are saying. Have you forgotten that you are the one who set up Ashley in several blind dates with random guys — some of them are even fuck boys. Remember that one time when you set her up with a closet gay who thinks that he might convert himself into a straight man if he beds Ashley." She rolled her eyes in disgust at the memory. "And let us not forget your man whore of a cousin, Drake — like seriously? If you don't call it obsessed, then I don't know what else to call it." She lifted her arms in resignation while shaking her head.

When she calmed down a bit, she lifted her cup of black coffee and took a sip. She momentarily stared into the space, thinking deeply, before her suspicious eyes landed upon her friend.

"What now?" Sarah blurted out defensively.

Jennifer narrowed her eyes and murmured, "Don't tell me..."

"What – what do you mean? I don't understand you!" Sarah started to feel agitated under the heavy weight of her friend's stare.

Jennifer continued to look at Sarah in silence.

"I get the meaning behind that look in your eyes but you're wrong! I am 100% straight — I love dicks. No, that's an understatement — I adore and worship dicks!" Sarah said defensively. "And, if I have a thing for Ash, why would I hook her up with someone else? I am not a masochist... Duh."

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