Drabbles

Love Confession

"Him? Are you serious? No! I only....I just went out with him because he was convenient and easy and the perfect boy to bring home to my parents but I didn't love him, I don't love him, not now, not ever! You....you little fucker, you wanna know why?! Because I thought when I found love, I would be the one there all the time, I would be the rock, I would be the one to never let go and give all of myself to that person and I would be the protector and the soldier and the one with the indestructible heart that never breaks, and I would always take the fall and always forgive and love that person no matter what, but you.....you, you jumped into my life and just made it chaos, because you're the rock, you protect me, you take my falls, you hold me together when I'm about to fall apart, you're always there and it's fucking me up because I thought that was going to be me! But it's you! You're everything I thought I didn't need, because I had to be enough, had to, to survive, but here you are, and you're loving me, somehow, and I need it, I need you, I swear I'm about to break. Because being your best friend is so beautiful but it hurts so much because I'm nearly about to go fucking bat shit crazy because you're everything that matters to me, you are my entire world, I swear I get high on your smile, and your dimples and your stupid eyes and your long fingers, and if you're saying what I think you're saying...that you love me...as more than a friend...then I for sure as hell am not going to let a boy stop this, some boy that isn't even worth enough to be your carpet, because you know what? I don't care about marriage, but I don't ever want to be separated from you. I want to live by your side for the rest of my life and always be there to hold your hand and watch your eyes as you laugh and help you pick new shoes and for you to always braid my hair and be the big spoon and hold me every night like you almost already do, and you know what, I know it's complicated and our families are conservative and no one will approve, but we both deserve some happiness by now, and by God, you make me so fucking happy, and if this makes you happy too..... do you....I don't even know exactly what I'm asking, look, my hands are shaking......but.....do you?"