Proxy [l.h]

18. Long Talks and Terrible Truths

"Plus, I got us into this mess. The fans are probably so confused- I even made Luke miss a show..."

"But your job, Lissa- as stated by the contract - is to go everywhere and do everything with him. You only did what you were supposed to," Calum replies, offering me a kind smile. "And don't you worry about your disappearance, either. That's what publicists are for."

I nod hesitantly at his words and resort to watching Calum press the off button on the coffee machine. Then he walks over to the fridge and takes out a silver flask, and pours some of the booze right into his coffee. I stare at him, and he laughs lightly.

"Anyway," the Aussie sighs, an attempt to change the subject. He takes a sip from the cup, squeezing his eyes shut from the strong taste, then relaxes into a smile. 

"Does that even taste good?" I ask.

"Yup. Wanna try?"

I shake my head quickly, remembering the last time I'd drank. 

"There's not enough booze in this world to forget Amber's back soon," he says with such distaste, looking down at his cup.

"Huh?" I ask in surprise. "So? What's the problem?"

"Haven't you known? She's a complete bitch. Perfect pair, her and Luke." He shakes his head. "They're the type of people to buy out the entire theatre when they're seeing a show because they want their arm space. They're also the type of that ensures their shampoo is imported from a designer brand in France and their body wash made with 'natural' ingredients, like coconuts from the jungle or some shit. Ashton and I are just happy she fled to wherever she is now. I don't really care where, either."

At Calum's words, something strikes me as a pattern, and I feel confused at the complicated relationships of Michael, Ashton, Calum, Luke and Amber. How they all somehow hate each other, or have hated each other in the past, or in the present, or both. Even Calum and Ashton, who I believed so far would never stir any drama, disliked Amber.

Then why stay in this little black hole of a record company and force themselves to spend time with each other? I didn't understand.

Speaking of, it was a question I'd wanted to ask for a while. Initially, I'd wanted to ask Luke, but I doubt he would've given me a proper answer. 

"Why do you guys stick around here, Calum? I mean, why don't you just...leave? It's definitely not because of the money." All while I can't leave because of the money...

"I don't know why Luke won't leave- he has it the worst. But Michael, Ashton and I? We're not leaving because there's nothing better out there. Plus, other than the whole Ashton-and-me thing, I can stand it here," Calum replies with thought. "My guess is that Ben knows something about Luke that he's keeping under wraps, and that's the threat he has hanging over him."

I look on at Calum with intrigue and confusion that must've been clear on my face, because he continues on with his previous point instead.

"Anyway-" he says quickly. "Let's just say not a lot of people enjoy Amber's presence. God knows why Michael's into her. He's like a lovesick puppy." He shakes his head again.

Well, that was another thought I'd like to know.

"What happened between Michael and Amber?" I jump right in.

"You really want to know?" Calum raises a brow.

I nod, genuinely feeling that I should, because if there's another person I don't understand in this hotel, it's Michael and his complicated relationship with the girl I'm pretending to be.

"Well, they dated, first of all," Calum says.

"What?" I cough out in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah, it was around two years ago. She started with short visits to the studio. Luke never had any interest in her, and she didn't care for him, either. But she was into the band. Liked the music, I guess," Calum boasts. "And I guess after a while, she and Michael just hit it off. Went everywhere together. It was almost cute...can you imagine love-struck Michael? I mean... that was, until Ben decided she was too good for him and should date Luke instead."

"Oh." I cringe, getting a glimpse of where this was leading.

"It's a long story." Calum sighs. "Are you sure you want to hear it?"

Without much thought, I tell him I do.

Luke

The pills from last night jump-started my brain, and the memories began to rush back. They'd kept me up all night, and there's a slight burn behind my eyelids from staying awake for too long.

I look over at my bedside table, where the clock reads 9:12AM. I'd rolled over as soon as I began hearing voices from the kitchen, and I know the rest of them are awake. Lissa is awake. I keep seeing her dark brown eyes from last night, big and wide like a deer caught in headlights. Looking at me in terror, her milky pale skin was even lighter under the ceiling light. And when I accused her of knowing who she really was, she asked me what I was talking about.

The tears are everywhere now, blurring my sight, clogging my throat, making it hard to breathe. I bite into the pillow as hard as I could as I recall all of it.

I'd forgotten what the pills do to me. The therapist said it would make me 'see' and 'remember' things, but only things that are real. That I'd be clear-headed and that I would stop seeing things that were imaginary...like Jane. If I took the pills, she said, I would know what's real and what isn't.

What's real was Lissa.

I couldn't stop thinking about all the times I'd smiled because of her and hadn't noticed. Then there was the way her hand felt in mine in the hotel room while we danced, how I'd denied the small catch of my breath when I held her in my arms, and the way she laughed when she lead me through the rain last night.

The alcove. The car crash, she didn't know. I was wrong last night- Lissa didn't know she was Jane. She didn't come here to ruin me. I saw her eyes. They were genuine, clueless, and filled with raw terror. Lissa would never manipulate me like that. I'd only thought so out of momentary shock, of realizing the girl I'd known for little more than a week was the one I'd been looking for for two years. The one I originally thought was dead. It didn't really add up, but I ignored all the rational thoughts in my head that argued otherwise.

Jane was always right in front of me, and like an idiot, I didn't know what to do. What a fucking idiot, I've finally found her, and I didn't know what to do.

So excited to reveal the back story behind Amber, Luke and Michael's crazy love triangle :)

Chapter 19 and Character Ask answers will be up in a few hours ;) I can't guarantee all of them will be answered though, because they might give away the plot of the story. You guys got real sneaky there with your questions.

Once again, thank you all for your support and your endless love for this story.

-Kate!