Planting Daisies 》l.h

one~

one

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No one can ever prepare you for the news of death when it comes.

No one can tell you what it's going to feel like and how it's going to affect you after. It's like a flame, no, a fire that ignites in you. There's no way to be prepared for it or to stop it, you kind of just. . . deal with it.

It works in stages. The 'before' is the worst part. When you're sitting at home on a Friday night, laying on your couch eating Cheetos (the puffy kind) and watching reruns of The Walking Dead, watching the walkers burn in a pit after being set on fire. You're wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, oblivious to the outside world because it's just you in that moment and you're safe.

And then it hits you. The phone call comes when you least expect it. Diverting your attention away from the TV and hoping the conversation doesn't last long as another zombie drops dead on the screen.

The phone call is mostly one sided. I guess it's because of the shock coursing through your veins and the thoughts in your head. All you're thinking is, how could this be real?

But it is. And when the phone call ends and you're finally all alone, all you can do is stare. And then you blink. And then you stare some more.

How can something like this happen? When you least expect it.

And then comes the sadness. It washes over you like an ocean wave and it doesn't stop. It keeps rushing over you until you can't breath, you're gasping for air and you can't breath because it's too hard to breath when the one person you've loved and cared for the most is just gone.

And then you're angry. The anger is the dangerous part. It eats up at you until all you can see is red and all you can feel is this red hot anger inside you. You're on fire, and you can't help but burn everything in sight. Pictures are thrown, glasses and plates are broken, and even though they won't do any damage, there are pillows being tossed. . . until you stop.

And you collapse on the ground in a heap of anger, sadness, shock and most of all tears.

Finally, there's that moment after where you just feel empty. Where your heart feels like it's been ripped out of your chest and stomped on until it's this unrecognizable thing that used to beat in your chest.

Your world is empty. And it will be for a while, and until then, you drown yourself in sadness and depression until that's all you'll ever be able to feel.

This is death. Not some sugar-coated romance.

It eats at you. It tears away at you.

And soon it will destroy you, and you will destroy yourself.

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It didn't always rain in Cedaredge Cove. Being a small town just outside of Vegas, it was always sunny and bright.

I guess that was until it happened.

In a small town of 157 people, we try to break the stereotypes of 'everybody knowing everyone's business'. But some cliches just have to run their course.

Word got out pretty fast, faster than I expected anyway. It seemed that people found out the news even before I did. As soon as I walked through the doors of Cedaredge High, all eyes were on me and they wouldn't go away.

After all, I was the girlfriend (ex-girlfriend? I don't know) of James O'Gallagher. Stereotypical, captain of the whatever team and friends with everyone. Let's go over the fact that he had everything. The big house, nice parents, and, honestly, his friends weren't even that bad. We had a plan; we would graduate together and he would get a scholarship for whatever team he played, we would go to college and everything would be happily ever after.