Emotions Beyond Perception

Attachments: A Painful Connection7.26.16

I love to love those who are to love.
And when there is love a connection is formed.

Attachments, attachments, getting attached is sweet.

But behind that sweet mask lies the pain beneathe the rose.

I loved her.
She who bore me and cradled me with love. But now, it hurts to see how she does not at all  trust me
and how she judges no matter how much I try to be good and obedient.

Attachments. It pains you deep when it pierced you deep.

I loved him. He who was called my father. But he left and went to another rose, and left me with such words that "I'm a worthless daughter."

Attachments.. Should I still attach my heart?

I loved him. He who stood up as my dad. But he seemed to judge me without even knowing
what is within this melancholic heart of mine.

Attachments... Should I ever hate thee?

I loved them. My friends whom I trust  but it pains me so to see them go, one by one. Goodbye.

Attachments ...

Attachments... Art thou a poisonous force? Bringing grief after every smile?

I loved them. My home church. The one I considered my second family. But , we parted ways and I was forbidden to go and visit my spiritual family.

Attachments. It pains and brings the grief within.

I loved him. That guy I chose to love so true. My heart's desire who brings me joy and love, but it shattered me when until now, I never got to chat and see  him.

Attachments. Getting attached is when you choose to let them attach to your heart.Choosing to love them with all your heart.

But it seems to me now that getting attached
Is the same way as saying that I choose to get hurt.

Because attachment is vulnerable of getting hurt and bruised
Within the abstract emotions inside.

Now , I guess, I can no longer attach.
For my willingness to attach slowly fades away.

They made me into this. My mom,and dad and friends
And same with everyone who caused my heart to grief.

I am tired of shedding tears at night
With music as my companion who seems to understand

I am tired of trying and I am tired of loving.

They turned me into this, what a job well done.
They successfully ruined the way I love.

Attachment. Love. I have had enough.
I am tired. Give me a break, I'll rest.

But I guarantee, I do not know when would I ever again...
Decide to get attached again.