Life choices (Remus Lupin Marauders era)

Chapter 34

At least we're able to wear our own clothes in detention tonight. I wear comfy leggings and a dark blue sweatshirt, trying to not seem too monochrome but still trying to blend in with the darkness.

I trail down the corridor by myself, towards Filch's office where the others wait. I stand by myself, not liking the twins at the moment and the marauders always irritate me.

Whilst filch is giving us a lecture on not misbehaving, I'm plotting in my mind how I can escape the crowd and feed. I'm snapped out of my daze by the words 'dark forest' and look at the others, studying their features. Remus has a far away, distracted look in his eyes, seemingly in a different world.

I'm again brought back to the real world as a lantern is shoved in my direction. I grasp it in both hands and look strangely at everyone. They all have either worried or annoyed looks on their faces, strangely the worry from both Sirius and James.

We all get paired off and guess who's the only one without a partner.

Me.

It's at times like this I'm so glad that my presence gets overlooked by everyone. Sometimes it's lonely, sometimes it's useful. I'm used to it though, I think it'd be odd if it changed.

As soon as I'm free from everyone else I set the lamp down and blow it out, letting myself be enveloped in the darkness. I run towards the scent and sound of animals and quickly drink enough to satisfy my thirst.

I never drain the animal completely, I don't want to kill anything. To me, if I do kill, then I'm as bad as the monster they made me to be. I refuse to submit to that idea.

I wander back to where I left my lantern and pick it up, forming some lie in my head about how the fire blew out. I try to make my way back towards everyone else to get a new light.

As I come nearer to the hushed sounds of voices, I realise that something must be wrong. For starters, I've managed to stray even further from our starting point, and secondly, there seems to be no light. I clutch the lanterns handle tighter in my palm as I draw closer to the noise, preparing to swing it at someone's head in case someone pounces on me.

Through the trees I see a big black dog and a rat, standing with James and looking over a dark shadow. The dog snaps it's head around to face me and I step back, only making my presence more obvious. James's eyes widen and his mouth opens and closes in shock.

"Imogen. Go back to your brothers. Now."

I frown as I peak through the gap in his legs and see a tired, ill-looking Remus sitting on the ground. He wasn't paired up with James, so where were the others. Something clicks in my brain, their pet names for each other.

Wormtail.

Padfoot.

They're all animagi. They have to be, I can't think of anything else.

My head spins at the realisation and I stumble backwards, falling over and looking up at them fearfully.

"Imogen, go, please, we'll explain later but please go. Now!"

I scramble back up to my feet and shakily run back to the sound of my brothers. I practically fall into them and they look fearfully down at me, constantly asking what's wrong. I just shake my head and sign that it was nothing, just that I'd finished and wanted to get back up to the castle. They agree, albeit hesitantly, still not believing my story, and we head up to the castle.

Very faintly, I hear a long, painful howl. As if something is in emotional distress. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder at the forest and wonder if the marauders are going to be ok.

We drop the lanterns off at Filch's office and collect our wands, heading up to our dorms. I say a quick goodnight, trying to seem as if everything is ok in my messed up head. I throw on the first set of pyjamas that I find and crawl into bed, hoping to get some rest and sort out my facts.

"Immy? It's Mary, the others are sleeping because they want to do well in the test on werewolves tomorrow, finally were rid of that subject! Anyway, I hope your ok, Lily has been talking about James too much for it to be normal. You have to put some sense into her and tell her that she has an astronomical crush on him."

Sense. I have to put sense in her. I, myself, am so confused about the past two hours of my life that I have hardly any idea what is sensible and what is crazy. Even now, I'm probably going absolutely crazy in my mind, completely blowing the scale of this situation out of the water and making myself even more confused.

I fall asleep with unsettling thoughts and images in my mind. I wake in a sleep like state, stumbling down the corridors to breakfast and lessons. The girls recite random facts but I'm only half listening to them as we go towards DADA. I sit in my usual seat next to Remus and keep my eyes away from him, biting my lip and resting my head in my hands.

A piece of paper is dropped in the space in front of me and I jump, looking up at the teacher who is wandering around the class. I look down at the title and inwardly groan as I realise that it's a test on werewolves. I quickly skim read through the questions and sigh as I realise that it's mainly things that we've covered before.

Halfway through writing I look up to see that Remus is fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat. He scratches the back of his head with his hand and I see marks around his wrists and a couple of fresh, red cuts along his arm which isn't covered by uniform.

I look down at the scars on my wrist, remembering how it looked beforehand. Rope burns and cuts lead my wrists to a butchered, uneven look.

That means he must have been tied up last night. But the only people he was with, the only people I know that we're out there, were the marauders, and they wouldn't do something like that to him. Unless he asked them too.

I feel like Sherlock bloody Holmes.

I shake out the stupid thoughts from my mind and try to concentrate on the test.

Bit by bit, things start to fall into place.

It's only when I get the full picture, that I almost wish that I didn't understand.

My crush is a werewolf.

Dumbledore was right, I'm not alone.

---

Oh my gosh I haven't updated in so long, you're all going to hate me.

But ayyyy, I started school and have only had three or four mental breakdowns, so I'm improving 🍩👌🏻.

Something is up with my font wahat is happeningggg?

So anyway, as I continue writing in this weird font that you may or may not see, I can see it and it's freaking me out, I ask, what did you think of the chapter? SHES FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!!!

Anywhore, it was my birthday on monday! Yayyyyyyy! (That's the tenth of October for those reading this at some point in the future)

Stay sassy my little buttercups ~ Molly

p.s. If anyone can see this font and tell me what it is and how to get rid of it I will be very grateful xxx

p.s.s or p.p.s (irdk) UPDATE ~ it's fixed now xxx

QOTD: when's all ya birthdays? Do I have a birthday twin???

10th October anyone? Xxx

🦄🤘🏻💕