Scars That Heal (Dramione Fanfiction) [COMPLETE]

7 - Ink Stains

Your revision tips have helped, and I've completed the third stage of my Auror training. I have to pass a written test, and then Ron and I have a practical exam after Christmas. Do you know the Hogsmeade dates yet? I can tell Ron wants to talk to you, but he keeps insisting he doesn't miss you that much.

Stay safe, and keep writing to me Hermione, getting your letters means a lot at the moment.

Harry x

Well, he wasn't the most helpful when it came to advice on her dreams, but it was still comforting having some correspondence with her old friends. She missed them immensely; Hogwarts just wasn't the same without Ron's light-hearted sarcastic commentary, or Harry's ironic down-to-earth perspective. Having the library was the only thing that kept her from feeling completely alone. That sounded incredibly ungrateful to those that were sticking by her, but it just wasn't the same hanging around them.

Dear Harry,

I've finished one of my three psychology books, and it says that deep primordial fears are ingrained in our reflex responses whenever we have traumatic experiences. It's not incredibly helpful, but it's a start. I can understand why I am reacting like this better now, and I think that understanding a problem is the first step to overcoming it. I'm keeping a careful eye on when they come, and how strongly. If I can identify a pattern in when they strike, maybe I can change how I do things to mean they occur less often.

I know what's wrong with Ginny. She's having a terrible time coping with Fred's death, and she's become quite reserved. She's been telling everyone for months that she's fine, and I believed her, but Fred's death is clearly weighing on her more than she'd care to admit. I need to have a chat with her about what's going on, but the one time I tried to talk to her she ran off. She's definitely not thinking of anyone else but you, but then again her mind isn't exactly on anything but Fred at the moment.

I'm glad my revision tips have helped, and I urge you to start revising for the written exam now. It may seem like it's ages away, but you and I know full well that you have a terrible habit of leaving revision until the last second. And don't you dare laugh, Harry, this one's important. I hope Ron does well too, and I can see him in Hogsmeade on the fifth of October. That's the first weekend so far, and there'll be more later in the year.

I promise I'll keep writing, it feels good to talk to you even if only by owl. I'll send you another letter soon,

Hermione x

She waited for the shining ink to dry dull again, and she put both letters into their respective envelopes. Hermione tucked them into her robe pocket, and got up from her seat at the desk. She checked her watch - there were twenty minutes until the end of lunch - and went to search for a book on giants.

There were very few in the library that even accepted that giants were emotional creatures. Most seemed focused on the fact that they often sided with the Dark Arts, and others went no further than their anatomy and habitats.

But they can feel!  Hermione felt like shouting, They can choose! They can comprehend opinions, and emotions, and they have a mental capacity not dissimilar to humans, and they are more empathetic than these writers are, clearly. She shoved the books onto the shelves angrily, and was feeling incredibly fed up when she spotted Madam Pince hovering beside her.

"If you're going to treat my books like that, you can leave," she said testily. With great decorum, Pince straightened the spines on the shelves and lightly dusted them with her bony fingers. Hermione sighed, and asked for a pass to access the Restricted Section of the library. 

"Not if you're any less gentle with those editions!" came the scandalised reply, "They are even more precious than these texts." Hermione explained that she needed it for some extra work set by Hagrid, and Madam Pince gave a short huff. She wrote out a pass, and gave it to Hermione. At that moment, however, the grandfather clock by the office chimed, and Madam Pince ushered Hermione off to her last lesson.

Muggle Studies was currently Hermione's favourite class. It was a relief being taught things she already knew, but learning it from a witch's perspective was interesting. As a result, she found it both easy and informative without too much thought. Professor Gladheart asked about her psychology, and Hermione gave him the - truthful - answer that it was helping her greatly. He offered to tutor her on Thursday lunchtimes if it would help her, but she declined. It was for her personal gain rather than studying, selfish as that may sound. But it would be nice to fall back on if she needed an extra grade - surely Muggle qualifications just counted as extra dedication?

At the end of the lesson Hermione grabbed a few sandwiches to eat on her way back to the library. Her stomach complained about the lack of food, but she was adamant that she would complete the tasks she had set out to do today. Madam Pince nearly had a fit when Hermione walked in eating, and made her stand in the corridor until she had swallowed the last bite AND wiped her fingers on her robes. Feeling a little peeved, she showed her pass and walked into the Restricted Section.

There were all sorts of books about "Dark" creatures like giants, but they were only a little more informative than the rest of the library had been. They explained that for centuries giants had preferred to take arms in the most brutal way possible, and very rarely the Dark Arts had been less ruthless than the rest of wizarding society. It seemed that giants only wanted to cause as much damage as possible, and would team up with the side most likely to let them do this, regardless of right or wrong. Hermione continued reading, trying to ignore the fact that the book next to her was muttering indiscreetly, punctuating the air with occasional giggles.

As the hand of the clock started edging towards eleven, she finally found something worth noting. In a book titled Monsters and the Creatures They Study, there was an entire chapter on giants' mental thought process. There were very few giants that were not self-aware, and that only had a drive in life to reproduce. Most understood that there was more to life than creating more giants to crush more boulders. They felt a desire to accomplish something, hence a tendency to joining in with wizarding warfare. There were, however, a few giants who still felt the need to achieve in their fleeting lives, but did not want this to happen through fighting. Instead, they tended to only fight or kill in response to attack from others, and often felt deep remorse afterwards. These "sentimental" giants, as the author labeled them, more often felt a desire to communicate with others and create stable relationships with other giants and humanoid creatures of similar understanding. Those who did end up injuring beings whether human, giant or other would often suffer PTSD-like symptoms, and would become more reclusive in an attempt to separate themselves from those they hurt.

So Grawp is suffering psychological stress too, Hermione thought with conviction, Just as so many people did after the battle. How many other people are going through things like this without anyone knowing?  She was too tired and it was too late at night to go and see Hagrid, so Hermione trudged up to bed and fell asleep. After only a few minutes, however, she felt the dream tugging at her mind once more.