Being The Player's Neighbour

Chapter 22 - Moving On

Depressed and utterly lost had never been part of my personality traits.

Indifferent and resilient on the other hand, described me quite well.

Except...that was all before I started feeling like I wasn't good enough.

How the rejection of one person can affect me this deeply escapes me but what surprises me more is the fact that I am letting myself feel this way. I would've thought that someone like me would never have an issue of self doubt or heart ache but turns out I'm not as impervious to emotions as I'd thought myself to be.

A hand on my shoulder startled me from my thoughts.

"You've been staring out that window for so long. I was starting to think you were paralysed." When Shanaya didn't get any reaction from me, she continued, "How long are you gonna stay like this, Avery? Since school ended a month ago, all you've done is stay locked up in the fucking room all day, constantly scribbling on those scraps of paper and doing God knows what. You need to get out and stop moping!"

She was right.

But some days I didn't even have the strength to get out of bed. How the hell was I supposed to go out, socialise and act all happy then?

"Are you....crying? Oh. My. God. I never thought I'd see the day Avery Gradson cried over a guy. This is monumental."

I kept staring ahead stiffly, not daring to look at her. I definitely didn't want anyone to see me like this, not even my own sister.

"I, who used to be allergic to tears and used to mock girls for crying like weaklings, have myself been reduced to a fumbling mess with perennially flooded tear ducts. Yes, by all means...do rejoice and throw a party for this "monumental" occasion." I snapped with a scowl, making quotes with my fingers.

Instead of getting annoyed she just laughed. "This ends right now, Avery. I'm not going to let you become sobby and bitter. It's intervention time!"

And once again, I had fallen prey to my sister's "let's make you look fab" ways.

I was stuck at a random birthday party, wearing a peach coloured layered top with a black skirt and wedges, when I'd rather be snuggled up in bed in my comfy pyjamas, listening to all the sad, heartbreak songs in the world and replaying old memories over and over again.

"Avery! You've gotta stop zoning off every bloody five minutes and looking into the distance with that 'lost in thought' expression." Shanaya chided me, beginning to get slightly flustered.

I nodded meekly and she smiled at me reassuringly, before disappearing into the crowd with her friends.

"Hey! I haven't seen you around before."

I turned around and found myself looking at some guy who was giving me a smile. I remembered seeing him around school a few times, but couldn't recall his name.

"Hi. Yeah...I'm just here 'cause of my sister. She- uh...long story." I said, shaking my head.

He chuckled at my obvious awkwardness.

"So...er...wanna dance?" He asked, pointing to where there were a lot of people dancing already.

No! I don't wanna dance with you, oaf. I yelled in my head.

I had no idea why I felt such hostility towards this totally unknown guy. Maybe it was because his smile wasn't cheeky enough or his hair wasn't dark enough and his eyes....his eyes were just not chocolaty enough!