The Pit

Chapter 15 - Interrogation

Do I need a relationship? No. Do I want one? Probably not. Daniel probably doesn't even like me, he could have whoever he wants. He's a good looking guy, while I am maybe a little above average. I am just a thing to him, just to see whether he can get me to fall for him. Well, guess again. I am so not falling for Daniel. I will just stay away from him. But that kiss we had...

Stay focused. Don't let him get to you. Just avoid him and hang out with Messy. Messy who is helping you with your missing case and is fun to hang out with. Sure we might fight a lot, but we're only messing around. He helps me forget my past and doesn't let me focus on the future because we live in the moment. Only thinking about the present.

God, this place is awful. No one here to distract me. Only me and my thoughts. I can't talk to anyone or look at anything because I am surrounded by a darkness. Maybe this is what my soul looks like, black and empty. A never ending pit that is slowly killing me.

I wonder how Meka and Peri felt when they were taking their last breaths. Were they in pain? Were they sad? Hurt? Angry? Did they feel anything at all? I will never know, but when they looked at me with their eyes as they died killed something with in me. Their eyes were filled with untold emotions like they felt everything yet nothing at all. Eyes that wanted to say so much, but were clouded and glazed before a word was spoken. It's like they took a part with them that I will never be able to retrieve. That part died when they did.

I know my parents hate me. I don't even have to think on that one. I saw them when they found out about what I did. They looked at me with utter disgust. They backed away from me as the police handcuffed me and took me away from them. Never again will I see them smile or laugh. To them I must be nothing. Not a fake, not a murderer. To them I am just a bad memory, something they wish they could forget.

When they saw me again for the first time after I was arrested my father screamed at me. "Who are you?" He yelled, "What have you done to my daughter? You're not her, you took her from us. Where is she? Give us back out loving daughter!"

"I devoured her."

Those were the last words I said to him. I didn't look at him, I never went near him. It hurt too much. My mother. She cried and cried. She would look at me and bawl her eyes out. I could never get in a word. I tried to talk to her, to make her understand even though I didn't. I just needed her to be there for me, to love me. But, I guess we don't always get what we wish for. The only time I ever talked to her was when I yelled at her in court. She looked up at me that time, but she never did see me. Only the shadow of what I used to be.

Slowly and silently tears ran down my face. I never cried in public, no one needed to see that. When I cried, it has always been when I am alone. I don't need people's pity or soothing words, when I cry all the emotions that have locked away break down all my doors and simply tear me to pieces. I don't just have just one lame tear drifting down my cheek, it freaking comes in streams.

I remember I was crying in my room once, I can't even remember the reason. I just felt broken and ruined inside. I didn't make a sound, I didn't want anyone to know, but Kyle showed up. I tried to hide, but it was too late he saw me. He came over and put his arms around me. He comforted me without saying anything. No questions on what happened and no sweet words that always sound fake. We sat there with his arms around me until I stopped. After that, I knew I could always count on him because he was simply him. My brother.

I cried myself to sleep. I have no idea how long I was out, but when I woke up I smelled food. I must have looked like an idiot pawing around to find the food. I found it by the wall or door. I picked it up and it was a sandwich. It was gross, but my stomach needed substance and I happily obliged.