Shades of Innocence (A GerIta FanFic)

Chapter 7

Feliciano listened intently beside him, gazing with wonder at the German's ever changing facial expressions. Ludwig's anger subsided slightly as he continued. "Then one day, a few weeks after I'd been moved into the main orphanage, I'd managed to join in a game of football that was going on outside, und during the game one of the older boys pushed me over in the mud." the Italian bit his lip slightly, however the German's anger remained suppressed. "...I sat up und I wanted to cry und run back inside, but then this really loud, obnoxious kid who was younger than that boy just came out of nowhere und tackled him to the ground." there was almost a smirk in his voice now. "It sent him off the pitch crying his eyes out und then the loud kid starting running around und shouting about how awesome he was." Ludwig was definitely smirking now, it was happiest the Italian had seen him. "My brother." he clarified with a glance at Feliciano.

"He was sent inside for rough housing, but I remember how he looked back at me whilst I was still in the mud und smiled, und I just stared...und even though he was older than me, I wasn't afraid of him." Ludwig murmured softly, the tiniest smile stretching his lips. "From that moment on Gilbert und I were inseparable. Everyday we spent together in the orphanage; Gilbert showed me everything he knew, he showed me how to break into the kitchens at night when we wanted to have our own midnight feast; he gave me dirt on all the other orphans und showed me how to exploit that knowledge." the German said, shaking his head fondly. "He even...he even wrote me a Christmas card und signed it from Santa Claus when I was six, he put in under my pillow so I thought Santa had left it for me on Christmas Eve..." he muttered sheepishly, looking a little embarrassed.

A smile sprung to Feliciano's lips, and he dared to inch a little closer to Ludwig, feeling strangely at ease for the first time being with him. Ludwig hadn't noticed and kept going, no intention of stopping now. "We never spent a second away from each other, he even pushed his bed all the way across the dorm to fix to mine so we could sleep next to each other." the German said with his almost smile back in place. "All the other children hated us, tried to ignore us und pick on us but we didn't care. Gilbert wouldn't take shit from anyone, not even the teenagers, und he taught me to do the same, to not be afraid..." he trailed off quietly, leaning back down over his knees.

The Italian saw something cross the German's face. His lips twitched into their usual grimace and that light of happiness that had been dancing in his blue eyes disappeared. "But then that all ended." he muttered darkly, his hands knotting together on top of his legs. "When Gilbert was twelve, a middle aged couple came to look around the orphanage, they wanted an older child because of their age...und unfortunately they took a shine to Gilbert." Ludwig's shoulders deflated and he curled his rough knuckles into the hair at the back of his neck. "If he'd have known it would mean being away from me, I'm certain he would have done everything humanly possible to not get adopted. But I can't really blame him, as much fun as I had with Gilbert the orphanage was still a terrible place to be, und deep down it was every child's dream...even mine..." he added softly. "...to one day be rescued by a family."

"Gilbert got lucky. Children that old never normally get picked, couples only ever want babies. By the time I reached five years old I'd realised that, I'd realised that any hope I had of adoption had passed...I mean what kind of loved-up young couple wants to waste their time with a problem child?" Ludwig grumbled bitterly, fingers twitching on the back of his head. "Nein...when I moved in with the older children I knew we were all in the same spot, just waiting for the glorious day of legal adulthood when we could finally leave."

The Italian felt an anxious squeeze in in his stomach as the German returned to his dark, harsh way of speaking. "But until that day I had so many miserable years alone." Ludwig's voice was trembling again. "The couple who adopted him were Mr and Mrs Beilschmidt. Gilbert wasn't taken straight away though, they visited him a few times in the orphanage und took him on day trips to spend time with him und get to know him. A couple of times they even brought me along with them because Gil wanted me to come." a brief smile tugged at his words but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "...but then after a few months he was sat down und they, as well as the social workers, asked him if it was okay for them to adopt him, und Gil, Gott bless him, accepted because he thought they were going to take me as well."