My Psychotic Lover

Chapter41: Just fade away

The silence between Jack and I had deafened me. He didn't say anything, he acted nothing. The coldness in his eyes made me feel weak. I hated myself because I didn't know how to make him feel happy or what, on how to mitigate the situation, or to diminish his cargo. I didn't even expect that he would act like that— assuming that Sophia was his daughter.

I knew that he's suffering some mental illness, but the emotion he had shown awhile ago was extremely unbelievable. Maybe, I could say that I'm blessed to see how Joker showed his feelings because all the people here in Gotham, new him as the murderous, unmerciful psycho killer who's killing just for fun. But behind that, there was once a loving father.

When we reached the hideout, Joker quickly opened the car door without saying anything, and banged it shut. I jolted in my seat, looking at him until he got inside the house. I pulled out a deep sigh then I got off his lambo.

The exact time, his henchmen had arrived too. They carried Gio who's turning pale because of the blood loss. We immediately got inside to put some remedies on his wound. I owed him for my life; if he didn't defend his body for me, probably I'm grunting in so much pain.

"Laid him on the couch," I said. I also ordered Jet to get the medicine kit and other things that we need like clean towel and a small basin.

Every seconds, I'm looking upstairs, directly to the Joker's room. Thank god, he's not making some noise like throwing his things, screaming or what because I really don't know what to do if he broke down.

Jet gave the things for the remedies. First, I ripped off the fabric on Gio's leg to see clearly the wound. Next, I soaked the clean towel on the basin, and gently dabbing the flesh through it. Gio winced in pain, as he breathing a heavy breath.

"Hold on," I said. Then, I took the cotton swab dipped in alcohol to disinfect the area, and after, I swabbed it also with iodine. The process of cleaning his damaged flesh was little longer because the wound was actually deep, so it means, I need to stitch it.

When the needle and the special piece of threat that is used for this kind of medical situation soaked in a alcohol, I started penetrating it into his flesh.

After a couple of minutes, everything was done. I breathed so broadly when I saw Gio, almost getting fine. I asked them to assist him into their room so that they could take their rest, until I heard a loud noise in Joker's room.

Joker was screaming in uncontrolled way, as he threw some things he could touch. My heart started beating so fast, thinking about what he could do for himself.

"J—Jack. . ." I muttered.

I sprinted to the staircase, and quickly stepping on it. When I reached his room, I knocked his door but he wasn't responding. The screams were now terrible.

"Jack I'm coming in!" I shouted beyond his door. Pushing the door opened, I saw Joker hurling, messing his own bedsheets, blankets and pillow. The lampshade on his nightstand was no longer usable, due to its cracked shade, and broken bulb. His so-called paper works were tossed on the floor, and the bunch of knives were also messed.

"Jack stop!"

He looked toward me with his darkened eyes, his gaze was wrathful for me as if he was asking me what am I doing in his room.

"Leave!" a plain respond.

"No! I won't leave you," I shut the door behind me, and let myself inside.

"I said leave me!"

"I know you're mad, but please Jack, don't do this to yourself."

Joker shook his head in disapproval, bending his body while rubbing his head aggressively, "Fuck it, fuck it!"

"P—please. . . take your rest," I said as I attempted to walk closer to him.

"Take my rest?" he repeated which made me stopped from walking, "Take my rest?!"

I got froze in my stance, looking at him steadily with wide eyes. Joker looked at me as if it was all my fault; His eyes were smoldering in fire.

"My daughter died and you want me to just take my rest and act as if something hadn't happened?!"

"She isn't your daughter, Jack," I said as I'm trying to calm everything, "How many times do I have to tell you? Sophia isn't your daughter."

"She's not Sophia! She's Mira! I know, because she didn't scare at me! All the kids here in Gotham used to fear me, except for her, it's because she's my daughter! Why you can't understand me?!"

"I'm trying Jack, I'm trying," I said in a calmed voice when I finally touched his forearm.

"No you aren't!"

My eyes started forming a warm liquid on its corners— hearing him saying that Sophia was his daughter was kept on butchering my heart and feelings. The clown had believed in the first place that the little girl was his own child. I knew it, that's why he was that happy and energetic because of the delusions that he finally had his daughter back.

Until Jack tilted his head on his right side, murmuring some words I could understand. It was like, he had someone whom talking to. His depression started attacking his little normal thinking. It was actually my first time I saw him like this. It was bringing some shiver down my spine, as he kept talking.

Then he suddenly stopped, narrowing his eyes upon me, "You. . . it's all your fault!"

My eyes grew wider when he said those words, "W—what?"

"If you I didn't let you to come with me, my attention wouldn't be thrown to you! If I didn't run when I saw you there almost dying because of the chandelier, I wouldn't dash over there! I have saved her!"

His words and accusation was like a stab in my chest. The tears had started flowing down on my cheeks, as my breathing became hard for me.

Jack held me on my both shoulders; his fingers were digging into my flesh which made me to wince in a sudden sharp pain, "I have saved her! You have blocked my way Hayley! It must be— it must be —"

"It must be me?!" I said in a raised voice, "You wish that Jack?! Yes you're right, I wish I was the one who had gotten shot so that you're happy in your stupid delusions!"

Joker gritted his teeth. His eyes were threatening me to shut my mouth but I couldn't because my emotion finally got me. I felt pain in my throat because I'm trying to hold my cry but I had enough, I wept in so much pique, and disappointment at the same time.

I couldn't even think that Jack was a big hit to me, to my personality and to my damn emotions; he can take everything in me, he was the only one who can hurt me like this —so much— he was the only man. . . and I hate him for that, I hate that he can act another role in my life.

"I want you to get out and just fade away! I hate you! I hate you so much! You killed my hope!"

"Oh yea?! Put all of those things to me! All the blame and don't tell me to go away because I have my own feet!"

Jack pulled out a deep sigh then he held me on my forearm, tugging me out of his room. He opened the door so violently and banged it shut behind us. His grip was really tight, that the circulation of my blood wasn't circulating well because of his grope.

"You're hurting me Jack!" I cried.

"Shut up!"

When we reached downstairs, he threw me outside without hesistation.

"Get out!" he yelled. Then he closed the door with force, as if the house will collapsed because of the loud bang on its door.

This was my chance. I can finally get out in here, and go home. I can finally see my friends and live my normal life. . . but it was opposite. Jack gave my freedom but my feet weren't moving to take that pathway. Instead, I went closer to the door, and pathetically knocking it, begging him to let me in,

"Jack, open this door please!" I said between my cries, "I don't want to go!"

But I didn't get any response, so he meant it. But I still waited, for him to open the door . . . but he didn't.

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A/N: (edited and rewritten) Thanks for reading angels! Hope you like it! XD