The One Next Door

That's No Lady

"So, does anyone want to go to mass tonight?" Mrs. Holmes asked rather hopefully.
"No." Sherlock said immediately.
"I'd rather not go through the hassle." Mycroft agreed.
"How about you John, are you a religious man?" Mrs. Holmes asked. Sherlock kind of chuckled a little bit, and Mr. Holmes cast an accusing look in his direction.
"No, I can't say that I am. But if you want to go to church, I'll happily put on my dress shirt and pretend I know what I'm doing." John assured.
"Well, we're outvoted then, that's alright. We'll just say a little prayer." Mrs. Holmes decided.
"We're all going to hell." Mr. Holmes muttered, more to himself, but Sherlock couldn't help smile. They'll be a big family reunion down there it the afterlife. Dudley came running in from the bedroom, probably having taken a nap or something, and was now barking, his ears flopping and his tail wagging.
"I simply adore your dog John, he's so lovable!" Mrs. Holmes exclaimed, kneeling down to scratch Dudley's ears.
"He loves people, definitely." John agreed. "Actually, Dudley was the reason we met in the first place."
"No, let's not go into that." Sherlock decided.
"Oh really?" Mrs. Holmes asked, and Sherlock groaned. So, of course, John burst into the story, telling the Holmes family about their first real interaction, how they despised each other, and how Dudley's love for people (and more specifically Sherlock) had brought the two together. Mrs. Holmes found the story very interesting, while Mycroft simply chuckled throughout the whole thing, as if he were seriously doubted such a fairytale meeting. Thankfully, John stopped at their reconciliation, not going into detail about the painting and the kissing and the whole relationship. But of course, by the end of the weekend, Mrs. Holmes would probably know too much about their love life, because John didn't seem the type to have a problem disclosing very personal information to people that really shouldn't have it. For example, the queens of the hometown elderly gossip circle. Mrs. Holmes will win all of the 'my son is the best' contests if she opens with how Sherlock and his boyfriend sang Barbie Girl at the company party. So, now they all had extra time on their hands, so they spent it putting up any ornaments that hadn't been put in its rightful place, turning on Christmas music, and putting the presents under the tree. As John had promised there were two presents per member of Sherlock's family, all wrapped with Santa wrapping paper and tied with sparkly bows.
"Who wrapped those?" Sherlock muttered to him, seriously doubting John's ability to tie a beautiful bow.
"Molly, she's got a gift with ribbon." John shrugged, placing all of the presents in a decorative fashion near the base of the tree.
"So, should we all take a walk? It's really very pretty outside." Mrs. Holmes decided.
"It's snowing." Sherlock defended, looking out to see small flurries of snow being blown around by the wind.
"Well, that doesn't mean we can't go on a walk." Mrs. Holmes insisted. "I bet that dog of yours would love to get some exercise." Dudley simply looked up in boredom, sleeping on the rub next to the radiator and looking like he had no intentions of moving.
"I think we'll live." Sherlock guessed.
"Well, I don't want to sit around here and do nothing." She insisted.
"That's pretty much what we do at home." John assured.
"Sherlock, you said that you had gotten a job?" Mrs. Holmes asked. Sherlock sighed, sitting down on the loveseat and patting the other cushion for John to join him. Obviously this conversation was going to take a while.
"Molly made me, down at the coffee shop where she works." Sherlock shrugged.
"And you made actual money?" Mr. Holmes asked, almost doubtfully.
"No dad, they pay me in paper money." Sherlock snapped.
"I thought there was something fishy about that place." John agreed with a laugh.
"John, don't try to be funny, it doesn't suit you." Sherlock decided.
"Sherlock, be nice!" Mrs. Holmes snapped, as if one wrong word would send John away forever.
"Oh don't worry Mrs. Holmes, by this time I'm used to it." John assured.
"Sherlock has a very odd way of showing affection." Mycroft decided.
"No I don't. I ignore you because I don't like you, there's nothing abnormal about that." Sherlock insisted. Mycroft sighed, seeming as if he were a very annoyed parent that had to deal with an overdramatic teenager. In a way, that was exactly what he was.
"John, do you have a job?" Mrs. Holmes asked, nervously breaking the tense silence that followed.
"Yes, I work on the hardware store, I manage inventory online, so it's not too time consuming." John agreed.
"That's nice; I worked at a hardware store when I was in college. But then again, it was much different back then, we had no internet." Mr. Holmes said with a hasty sort of laugh.
"Let's just assume that no one here is even mildly entertaining, so let's keep the forced jokes to a minimum." Sherlock decided.
"Sherlock, please, be respectful." Mrs. Holmes insisted.
"I can be me around John; I don't have to impress him anymore. He's pretty much stuck with me whether he likes it or not." Sherlock decided.
"Don't worry, I like it." John assured with a smile.
"I never thought I'd see the day." Mrs. Holmes sighed. "I should get the camera, one moment." she decided, scampering off.
"No, you really, really don't need the camera." Sherlock protested, but by the time he was done with his sentence, Mrs. Holmes had already returned with her big red camera, turning it on and pointing it at John and Sherlock.
"Alright, now give a big smile." she insisted. John put his arm around Sherlock, who insisted on scowling, and made the biggest most aggressively happy smile known to man. This seemed to please Mrs. Holmes more than probably necessary, because she took three more pictures of them and one of Mycroft, to make sure he felt appreciated as well.