he said
"yesterday was my first day"
Then the bell rang
and I half smiled at him
and said a small "thanks for the help"
before I escaped into the crowd
because if he,
practically a stranger,
could guess I wasn't okay,
then why couldn't my parents?
* * *
I was back at the apartment
and for the first time
my parents were home
for dinner.
They were both there...
they looked exhausted,
and they looked worried.
I could tell they were still fighting
even though a single word
hadn't been said
since we sat at the table
for dinner.
It was hard to eat
knowing that Daiha
was in the hospital
knowing that she was missing out
although
I'm not sure
missing a tension filled,
silent dinner
where she probably wouldn't eat anyway
was a very big deal.
I wanted to escape
to my room so badly
but my parents
told me to wait
because they had something
to 'talk' to me about..
I felt numb
even though I got to talk to Jax today
if talk was even the right word...
more like me have a panic attack
and him be a good person
and ask if I was okay.
Any kind person
would do that
besides the kids at school.
at least,
the ones who saw the video..
My parents broke me
from my thoughts
and started talking
about Daiha..
I felt myself
tune them out
because whenever I was near them
anymore
it was either
fighting
or
Daiha
or
fighting
or
Daiha...
It should be about Daiha right now
even if she wasn't conscious of it
because it wasn't her fault
that she was lying in a coma
but I was so tired
and I just wanted to sleep
and sleep
and sleep
because if I slept
then I wouldn't have to feel alone
or feel the guilt crushing me
until I couldn't breathe again,
and I didn't want my parents knowing
that I was having panic attacks.
They had enough on their plates
without having to worry about me.
I went to my room
even though my parents
yelled at me to come back,
because I felt myself
going lightheaded
and starting to feel dizzy,
a telltale sign
of yet another panic attack.
I made it to my room
and shut the door
before I all but collapsed
curling into a ball,
crying for what felt like
the hundredth time.
Daiha,
you need to wake up
please
wake
up.
ESTÁ A LER
Breathe
Poesia-Sequel to Smile- The devastation of hurricane Jordan has left Delilah Smith in a tailspin. Her sister, Daiha, is in a coma, and doctors aren't sure if she's even going to wake up. When her parents aren't working they're spending all of their time a...
