INTO THE FLAMES

Chapter 15

I woke up a few days later, a little after seven,  with sun streaming through my windows. I could hear the birds chirping as they flew to collect the last of their breakfasts. Bees and other insects greeted the warm morning air as they swarmed the trees in the lot next to the house across the street. The sun exploded into bursts of yellow and orange as the large ball of fire raised above the horizon and illuminated the world below it. There was something that caused a lump in my throat. Maybe it was the nostalgia of the summer mornings I spent like this as a child. Maybe it was the summer in the air. 

It was probably the fact that Matt was coming back tonight.

He'd taken the weekend off to go a wedding in Pennsylvania for his friend from college. He'd flown down to Philly where a few of his friends picked him up and they drove to Ambrose together. It was a pretty small town, from what I'd gathered from my google search. It hadn't been around for a very long time, either. One of Matt's friends from college, Ethan, was marrying this girl named Natalia, who was from Cannon. She graduated from Cannon High a year after I had. I still see her mother and younger brother at the community pool on occasion.

Part of me thinks that if I hadn't had a meltdown, Matt would've invited me as his plus one. The other part of me, the realistic part that bites my imagination in the ass, knows that I wouldn't have said yes, and he never would have asked me in the first place.

He'd knock on my door, say he missed me after days of being holed up in my room, then hand me a gorgeous red dress and tell me I'd be prettier than the bride herself in that dress. He'd buy me a plane ticket and hold my hand the entire way through the airport, making sure that he always knew where I was. He'd wrap his arm around me on the plane and let me sleep on him until he woke me up with a soft shove, smiling down at me with those gorgeous emerald eyes full of love and admiration.

He'd take his bag and mine in one hand and my hand in the other and introduce us to his friends. He'd keep me next to him and one arm wrapped around my waist on the ride to Ambrose, his warmth radiating onto my body. All of his friends would tell me funny stories about him in college and how wild he was, and then he'd be adorably embarrassed. None of the other men in that car would look at me twice, or he'd shoot them a protective, she's-mine-back-the-fuck-off glare.

I'd pin my hair into a bun and slip on that sexy red dress in the comfort of the hotel room as he fixed his cuff links and tied the tie around his neck. I'd see Natalia and gawk at how beautiful she looked with Ethan and Matt exchanged a look, that look. We'd dance and drink and then he'd take me back to that hotel room, strip off that red dress, and lay me down on those silk sheets as we gave ourselves to each other, and our messy, beating hearts were merged into one.

Wouldn't that just be peachy.

I'd been pining over what to say to him for days, searching my brain for the perfect combination of words that would explain how I felt about this mess that I'd catapulted us into. I wanted to be forward, but I was walking around blindly. I had no idea how I felt about him or how he felt about me or if he was still willing to...

I don't know. To explore the attraction? It was obvious from that day at the pool and in the hallway that we have feelings for each other, at least sexually. It's been over a year since I have lusted after anyone, but whenever I think of my feelings for him, they begin with his eyes raking over my body, my nipples tightening and my face reddening, as he fucked me with those piercing green eyes. That was only part of it.

I thought of the guy that cupped my chin so gently, the one that was honest with me, the one that cared about my feelings for Jax and what I'd gone through. The one that was willing to help me keep my job and start my career, even though there was nothing in it for him.