PERMANENT - Leonardo DiCaprio

Chapter 17 - Backseat Action

Thursday 9am

I sat alone at one of the many gorgeous glossy white tables in the veranda of the hotel where breakfast was served, overlooking the whole beach, and my skin bathed in the sunlight that hit my legs. Swirling my spoon around in my soggy cereal mindlessly, I stared into space (well, not space, but very intensely at one spot on the table). I shook off my stupor with a glance back down at my bowl, pushing it away with slight revulsion. I wasn't even really one for cereal, but I didn't want to eat anything heavy today for fear of throwing up.

Last night had practically traumatised me, and I dreaded filming our scene today. I debated calling Jake last night in a flurry of tears because I felt so bad, but decided against it before I had talked it out with Leo. Just because mine and Jake's relationship was heading downhill didn't mean I had a right to do what I did with Leo, even if it was really really enjoyable. My last boyfriend Theo cheated on me and he broke my heart, so I told him I never wanted to see him again and that was that, and I was now feeling like the biggest hypocrite. It almost made me want to call him for some assistance, as he obviously had experience in that department, but that would be 100% too weird.

I got up from my seat and made my way to the car, as mostly everyone had already left. It already felt weird today. I hadn't gone to Leo's room today knocking on the door for him to get up like always, and we hadn't gone down to have breakfast together. I wanted to cry, just sit there and cry. This was one of those situations where I wished I could go home, run away from my problems and just hide away in my own apartment with Aaliyah, but I couldn't run away from this. I was here for a job and I had to do it without my personal issues getting in the way.

Pushing the key in to start the engine, it roared to life, purring beneath me as I pulled out of the car park and out onto the road.

//

"Oh my god that is not you!" I stared at the photograph Billy was showing us of him when he was younger, standing shirtless with long curly black hair in a black and white photoshoot. Everyone else (namely Victor Garber, Kathy Bates, Danny, Jason and Frances) were sputtering laughing. We were sitting on set in the cargo room of the massive Titanic construction, all of us in make-up but not in costumes, while the film crew scurried around us.

"Oh best believe that's me, sweetpea," Billy joked, referring to me by my little jokey nickname. Ever since me and Bill filmed our dinner scene, the name stuck, and it still made me laugh.

"What did I miss this time?" Leo asked smirking in curiosity as he wandered in in full Jack Dawson costume, hand in hand with little Andrea. My laughing trailed off as I averted my eyes from him and passed Billy back the photograph.

"Just reminiscing," Billy replied, passing over the photograph I had just been holding. He scanned it over with a snort, then bent down to Andrea's height so they could both look at it. He was so good with her. She looked at it quickly before covering her eyes with her hands and pressing herself into Leo's side, giggling.

"He's naked!" I heard her shriek, and everyone burst out laughing again.

"God look at you, you look one step away from being Cher," Leo joked, passing the photograph over. I smiled at this, and our eyes locked briefly before I looked back down. I don't know why I did it, but I couldn't bear to look at him because the flashbacks came flooding back, and if I thought about it too much I felt like a bad person.

He tapped Andrea's shoulder and guided her towards the others, and Andrea ran over to Kathy's lap. Andrea was everyone's child in here, and we all loved her like she was our own. She looked up to everyone here like her own family, well, except for Leo, who was her 'boyfriend' as she once claimed.