The Fighter

Chapter 2

They laid out a dress for me to wear for dinner.

It was nice. I haven't worn a dress in five years. I probably won't look good in it. It was a skater maroon dress that had lace sleeves reach the elbow. It had a simply black belt around it. I'm glad they gave me flats. I would break my ankle walking in heels.

Why did everything seem so normal?

It's not suppose to be like this.

I can't set use to this, I just can't. If I do then I'll get hurt and I don't want to get hurt. I forgotten what that felt like and I don't want to feel it again. My life is difficult enough but it was less difficult without all these feelings I had. I just didn't care. I felt numb and I still do.

I don't think I'll truly ever live again.

Or feel happy to be exact.

I snapped out of my thoughts and grabbed the new pair of underwear and bra they also laid out for me and went in the shower. The hot water felt so nice against my skin. They rarely gave me showers which was disgusting. I felt disgusting. It felt nice. I leaned my back against the cold wall and slid down to the floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head against them. I was so use to be being alone that I hated being with people now. I'm just not use to interacting with people. I'm only use to interacting with myself.

Why am I like this?

What did I do to deserve this?

I did nothing wrong and now the only freedom I get won't last long.

What if I loose? I'll end up in the hell hole again. I haven't fought in years I might not be as good as I once was. Not to sound cocky or anything. I can't help to think that this is all just a dream and I'm going wake up soon.

But if this is a dream then I don't want to wake up. This is more then I could ever for. I just feel like I don't deserve it.

Why is is life so hard? Why is my life so hard? Why couldn't I live a simply life. No problem, no worries, just me. People say being you is the best possible thing, so why do I think it's the worst possible thing?

Why do I hate myself so much?

I ask myself all these questions but yet I don't have an answer.

Oh I have gone crazy.

Once I was done my shower I changed into the dress they gave me. Dinner was soon and I've spent half my time in the shower. Not that I didn't deserve it or needed it.

I put my hair in a messy braid not caring how my hair looked.

I look at myself in the mirror once more. I didn't look like myself but then again I don't know who I am.

I heard banging on my door and I'm guessing it was one of the guards. I sighed and walked out the door where they gave me death looks.

"You guys look happy to see me." I muttered

They didn't reply and I didn't expect them too.

After a five minute walk we finally reach the dining room. They open the doors for me and I stepped in this giant room. It was huge for no reason. My uncle and mom were already talking and drinking wine. They look so happy and it makes me sick. They stopped once they saw that I was in the room. They both smiled at me but I didn't smile back.

"Victoria so glad you can join us please sit." My uncle said gesturing me to sit down

So I did at the end of the table.

"You look beautiful darling." My mother cooed

"Thanks." I mumbled

"Ahh you found your voice." My uncle said smiling