A/N: *dancing* Filiarin shippers, this is your chapter. Also Endlin shippers, you're in for a shock. Non Filiarin or Endlin shippers... I just... I can't even... Well, anyway, enjoy! Elysium out *drops mic*
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"Endarin calm down," Fili's voice was gentle. "What's wrong?"
I inhaled shakily. "Well it's a... It's a long story."
"For you, I can make time." Fili said, sitting beside me. "Start whenever you're ready, from the beginning." His hands were warm in mine and his blue eyes were soft.
I didn't speak for a while, concentrating on my breathing. When I started, memories rushed back. The pain was almost unbearable but with Fili's presence I didn't feel as much hurt as I might otherwise. It was his closeness that kept my anguish under control.
"I was never meant to be born." I started. "My father was a royal, King of an Elven Kingdom, and my mother was a tortured skin changer who'd escaped from the fighting arena. Thranduil, my father's name, and Elorleth my mother's." I looked at Fili but he didn't say anything. I went on. "Thranduil already had a wife when he met my mother, a beauty named Lyvena. Lyvena was loved by all and a kind and gentle queen, or so I was told. Anyway, Thranduil met my mother in the forest, back when it was called Greenwood. Elorleth had been hunting but when she'd seen Thranduil, she'd shot an arrow at him. I guess it was because she was scared of anyone who wasn't a skin changer; scared they'd capture her like the Orcs did."
"Thranduil saw it coming and missed it by an inch. He and my mother had a duel with swords, one in which they both got injured. My mother was finally able to drag herself away. She lay on the forest floor for two days until she was able to heave herself to her feet. She went to get herself some healing herbs, only to find Thranduil still lying on the forest floor and bleeding out. He hadn't been able to drag himself from the battle and his Elven scouts still hadn't found him. Elorleth felt a stab of sympathy, sympathy or guilt; probably the latter, so she nursed him back to health."
"Thranduil returned to his kingdom, saying he was shot by a rogue Orc who he killed, and everything went back to normal. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he wanted to meet Elorleth again. Eventually he gave in to his desires. My parents met in secret often but Thranduil never admitted his feelings for Elorleth, nor to himself, Elorleth or anyone else. After all, he had a pregnant wife who loved him with all her heart; Lyvena. Elorleth too, did not admit her feelings for Thranduil. When Lyvena bore Thranduil's son, Legolas, the kingdom celebrated. Then there was the battle with the Orcs and Lyvena was killed, leaving Legolas motherless. Thranduil, in grief, left his kingdom and sought comfort in Elorleth."
I paused again. "That night nine months later, Elorleth gave birth to Thranduil's second son, Thanolas, my brother. Elorleth and Thranduil went their different ways. My sister Bray was born when Elorleth married a ranger. However when the ranger died, Elorleth and Thranduil started to see eachother in secret. Years afterwards, Elorleth bore Thranduil another child: a daughter. Me." My breath caught in my throat. "My - my mother died giving birth to me."
"Thanolas was given to her brother, my uncle, Beorn but Thranduil took me in and raised me in the Woodland Realm. It was a surprise to everyone there. They hadn't known Thranduil had any children aside from Legolas; their King had never told them about his affair with my mother. I was raised as a princess and was given the name Lethiel, meaning woodland wolf."
"But you left the Woodland Realm." Fili mused.
I nodded. "I was an adolescent elleth when my skin changing ability began to show. Maybe it was my name which influenced my form, but none took kindly to the fact that I randomly started shape shifting into a wolf at random times. Thranduil banished me and I became a ranger, hunting in the wilderness. Sometimes, I came back to visit my half brother Legolas in secret. It was on one of these visits that the Orc's took me. I was taken to Dol Guldur and tortured for two whole years."
"I let Sauron take over my thoughts and my mind so the pain would end." I flinched, remembering my weakness. "But it was not there when my story ended. I-I had to be brought back to health and taught how to fight better then any other. I had a mentor. His name was Túlin but he became something more after a couple of years. Nobody knew but we loved each other." I closed my eyes. "He gave me a ring and said it was a promise. A promise that one day, he'd marry me. He was the only light I had in my darkness. The only reason I kept on living."
I choked on tears but forced them away. "Thorin killed him. He killed him in cold blood. Túlin never could hold to that promise anymore but I kept my ring. What I didn't keep was my happiness and my spark of redemption. When I found out I was pregnant with his child I hoped happiness might come back into my world but I..." I gulped. "I lost the baby. It died in my womb. That was the year I found Aiseki alone in the wilderness without a mother. I took him in and a flicker of joy endured but all love... all emotion... it left me."
I closed my eyes. "It left me." A tear slipped down my face but I wouldn't let another one fall. "Until you came." I whispered, my eyes on Fili. He drew me into his arms and I let one more tear fall.
