Trance

Chapter Ten: Birthday Parties

"Is Matsya your real name?" I question. The question causes Matsya to look at me and roll her eyes as her lips morph into a smile.

"Take a guess at what my real name is," she suggests. I take a sip of my drink instead, tasting the taste of lemon and something else. I can't put my finger on the second element and I leave it blank. It doesn't mater much anyways.

"Zaara? Simran? I don't know, I'm terrible with names," I attempt to guess. She shakes her head no, her hair flying side to side as she does so. "Then what? Should I google it?"

This causes her to laugh and I decide to carry on talking. "My parents were actually going to name me Gurpreet," I confess, causing her eyes to grow large. "They instead got my grandma to pick the name who choose Nirvaan."

"Gurpreet sure sounds like he loves his parents," Matsya comments, laughing at idea of my name being Gurpreet. I roll my eyes at her, taking another sip of my drink until her words seep in. Again, my eyes fly over the skyscrapers, looking for a familiar red rooftop. When she senses my tongue being caught (for the first time in a while), she looks at me with concern. "Don't you live with your parents?"

My heart shatters slightly and I can't seem to make a phrase to cover up the silence that falls on us. Finally, I decide to tell the truth - she'll be gone within a month. What can she possibly do with the truth? Use to it to hurt me? The damage has already been done, what's the point?

"My parents kicked me out of the house," I reply, keeping my voice upbeat and cheery as possible. With my words, Matsya turns and gasps slightly at me. My skin itches to get out of here and escape the truth but instead I take another sip of my drink. "I was eighteen and haven't seen them since."

With a frown, she tries to make sense of the words. "But you sound like the perfect desi child!" she exclaims and with a shake of my head, she raises an eyebrow. "What did you do? Flunk every test you went on?"

Her eyes only remain on me and I can't find an escape. Should I bother? If my own parents, the people who were disgusted at me couldn't accept me, why would Matsya? "I was in an argument with my parents one day about four years ago. We were yelling, screaming and I was done with my parents at that point," I start off, taking a deep breath. It's been years, why can't I tell her without hesitating?

She leans back on the railings and I decide to as well. The cool metal holds me and I find the freezing hands of it comforting. "I told them that I liked guys more than they'll like. If you didn't know, I'm bisexual and parents kicked me out of the house because I told them I wouldn't mind kissing guys!" As soon as I finish, I find myself staring at my hands.

The words were ridiculously hard to say but after saying them out loud, after admitting them, the weight on my shoulders release slightly. Droplets of tears blur my vision slightly and my breathes become slow. Eighteen years of care went to waste. It took them one sentence spoken in anger, one mere sentence of the truth to take that all away. I spent five years knowing, of hiding the truth and feeling like nothing but a broken piece as my parents turned off the TV whenever rainbow flags decorate the screen.

"Feel free to feel disgusted at me now, I don't care," I say, my eyes not meeting hers. I can hear her moving closer to me, her heels making a click click sound.

"We're at a lesbian's party and you'll think I'll be disgusted?" she asks and I move my eyes to her. Her brown eyes watch mine and I watch the flames rising in hers. "Honestly, if I ever see your parents I would fight them. Do they honestly think that they van do that? Kick out a child for no reason? That's disgusting."

"You know what? We're going there and giving them a piece of my mind," she hisses, her hands flying to my hand. They envelop mine with her warmth and I stare at her with surprise.

"Are you crazy?" I whisper as she opens the door to the party. With a turn of her wrist, the music of the party fills the peaceful outdoors. Instead of replying, she nods. I follow her body maneuvering between the crowds, coming willingly. This time, I follow her with choice without fear.

I don't even know why I told her. There was no point to it but maybe I felt like she would have understood, that her brown eyes wouldn't shamelessly judge me like my parent's. I don't bother to carry on with my sob story or how Diego had helped me with the place to live. Instead, I walk out with her and without a plan.

Am I really following the person who had me afraid for my life a week ago? The person who stole my number? Without another care, I keep a hold of the hand. Maybe I am - and maybe I'll be going to the red rooftop house today.

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How was the chapter? It's pretty long and more interesting than the last.

Right, bisexual means that they like both guys and girls. This doesn't mean that they're more likely to cheat or have the same amount of attraction to each genders. Bisexual people have different genders they like more at times. They aren't more likely to cheat btw, that's some bullshit rumor.

If you're homophobic, the exit button is easier to press than writing a long comment on NOOOOO or whatever. Feel free to leave, not that I care.

Vote?

- Maya.