What If?

Prologue

Prologue

When was the last time you slept and you felt fully rested? The last time you had a day without having to worry about what you have to do tomorrow? The last time you were completely happy? For me all these things don't exist, they don't exist for me since I was 14 years old. I became famous over night, I uploaded my first YouTube video with 14 and suddenly my whole life was taken away from me. I can't even remember what my life was like before all of this happened. That's because the time before all that was too short. My parents dragged me to one management to the other, to one interview to the other. I had to go to several TV shows and radio stations I didn't even know existed. When I was 15 my first single came out and a few months later my album went to number one. I don't know how I managed to get a number 1 album but I somehow did it. Well, not really me, more like my parents and my management and all the producers who are telling me what to do or better, what not to do. In their opinion everything I do is wrong and I have to change my behavior but I don't want to, this is me and I'm not going to change for anyone. At just 16 I released my second album and I was on my first world tour, everything was so crazy and I remember that I somehow really enjoyed it for the most time. Everyone was crazy for Lauren Jauregui, the pop star that became famous over night. I'm twenty now and my life is a living hell, with 4 albums and the fifth on the way I am one of the most famous people alive. I'm even nominated for a Grammy, but why would I want to get a Grammy for something I don't even like. My management made me to a person I don't want to be, they destroyed the real Lauren and replaced it with the bubble-pop singing one. I always wanted to do other type of music and I even asked my management if we could change it up a bit, I wrote some songs and just wanted to do the music that I loved but they told me if I wanted to stay at number 1, I had to keep doing the shitty bubble-pop kind of music. I never really got along with my manager and it didn't change over the years, we've always been civil with each other but we never really got along that well. It got much worse when I stopped behaving like their little doll and started smoking and drinking. It all went downhill when I was 18, my so called friends asked me if I wanted to go to this party and I just wanted to get a night off so I went with them. It stared of as a completely normal party but the later it got the more drunk I got and I wasn't really sure what I was doing anymore. This boy called Jake as far as I can recall asked me if I wanted to try something different and he told me about how I could forget about everything for just a night. I was pretty wasted and I thought that forgetting about everything for just one night sounded very good so I wanted to try it. He showed me how it worked and then it was my turn, the moment everything went downhill from, he made a small line on the table with a card and stroked my arm afterwards. I bent down and after that I couldn't remember anything except for small details. He was right I was able to get my mind off for just one night and it was amazing, everything just was amazing, even if it just lasted a few hours. The day after everything came crashing back onto me and I felt like I was suffocating. I had to do an interview for some YouTube channel and I called my friends to ask them for Jakes number, after I got it I immediately called him to ask him if he got some more of the stuff from the night before. He told me to meet him a half a hour later at some coffee shop downtown. This was the first of many times I went to an interview being higher than the empire state building. I don't really talk to my parents that much anymore; they just call on some days so I can talk to my brother Chris and my sister Taylor. They all don't really know about my lifestyle like I use to call it, they know that I party a lot but they don't know about the many nights I get back to my apartment completely drunk out of my mind with red strained eyes and some dude wanting to get in my pants. The many hookups don't mean anything to me but they keep me company when no one else does. It's funny how they all want to get to know me but as soon as they do they run away because they see how much of a mess I am. I don't really have any friends, the ones that I have all just want to be my friends because I'm famous, they don't care about me. The men I sleep with all don't care about me either, they just care about their own needs and that they have a night full of fun. They use me so they can tell their friends that they hooked up with Lauren Jauregui and that they made me feel good. Little do they know that I'm using them so I have at least a bit of company during my lonely nights in my so fucked up life. People are always the same: selfish, fake and broken on the inside. That's why we need others to make our miserable life seem not so fucked up.

They always tell us that love could do that, make our lifes seem better and worth to live. Does she have that power? Is she going to change everything?