Perfect Ruin

8. Tremble

"So y-you went on this thing with Jax thinking that it w-wasn't a date?" Beth asks, narrowing her eyebrows. "It's so obvious that it was from the very beginning!"

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be a date. I was just going to hang out with him. I swear."

"And then it turned into something more," she breathes.

I nod my head slowly. She looks away.

"Y-you knew," she whispers. "Y-you knew that I liked him. And you still went out with him b-behind my back."

I say nothing.

"I l-liked him for so long," she says quietly. "You never paid any m-mind to him. You didn't even know who h-he is until Braydon and I dragged you along to the fight two weeks ago."

Anger flashes in my eyes.

"So, just because you knew him before me, I'm not allowed to date him?" I ask her, baffled. "That doesn't even make any sense!"

"N-no, that's not what I mean." She shakes her head. "What I mean is that you knew I like him. You knew. And you still went on that date with him anyway. H-how do you think that makes me feel, Si? W-What if you like Josh McCall—"

I scoff. The supposed 'hottest' guy in our school. The title is debatable, really. "I will never like Josh McCall—"

"—but what if y-you did and I went on a date with him and completely d-dismissed the fact that my sister has such a h-huge crush on him?" she says.

"But if you liked him and you really saw it going somewhere, I would be happy for you. It doesn't matter if I like him or not, in the end, I still want you to find your happiness," I tell her.

Beth's still not backing down on it, oh no. I've never seen her this pissed before. Her entire face is hot red from anger and she's glaring at me.

"You said I didn't have a-anything to worry about. You s-said you didn't like him."

"Well, people can have a change of heart!" I exclaim.

"B-But it's not fair." She shakes her head. At this point, I'm not sure if she's trying to convince me or herself. Maybe it's a little bit of both. "I l-like him so much."

"He barely even knows that you exist!" I cry, and the whole room falls into silence. Beth just stares at me, looking absolutely shocked. "Honestly, Beth. Why are you making me up to be the villain here? Yeah, I knew you liked him. But it doesn't even matter. But he chose me, Beth. He chose me. He went out with me. He kissed me. Not you," I snap at her. "He was never even yours to begin with. So stop acting like he was."

Beth looks away, tears brimming in her eyes. I know I hit a nerve; I always do when I snap. It's an occasional habit of mine. But I can't help it. She's being so unreasonable here.

Beth is my sister; my other half. I love her and I would do anything to make her happy. But for once in my life, I'm happy. Can't she push her damn feelings aside for Jax and just let him and me be?

"Beth..." I reach out to touch her but she shifts away from me, her back facing towards me. She's wiping tears from her eyes. "Beth... fuck. I'm sorry."

"P-please don't." She shakes her head. "Just l-let me be."

"I'm sorry," I murmur. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be that harsh."

"Y-you always speak your mind. I c-can't blame you for that," she stutters. "J-just, leave me alone."

"But, Beth—"