The Unneeded Sister

It's A Daily Routine

"You bitch, go fuck yourself"
"You smell like you've been sleeping in the garbage dump, stay away from me!"

I quickly run to the bathrooms we have in our school. I close the door from the toilet. They have huge gaps above and below the doors, so if Ashley or somebody will come here they will probably crawl under the door.

Yes, this is my daily life. When I come home I can lock myself in my room and no one will really pay attention. But at school I am the silent girl who never says a word but has straight A+'s. All my life has it been this way and I doubt if it will ever change. To be honest I don't care anymore, I'm used to it.

Yes, of course it hurts when they say things like that but that's not the worst they have done. Normally they punch me in my stomach or throw me against our lockers, and let me tell you that hurts, but anyway I need to go to my next lesson.

Thankfully it's algebra and Ashleys 'gang' isn't in that same class as me. It's my last lesson for today and then it will be weekend. When I enter the classroom I don't see anyone. All tables were empty, no backpacks, no noises, a silent classroom which I loved.

Yes, I love studying and I like how everything can be explained, behind everything there is a theory, no matter if it's chemistry, mathematics, physics or something else, there's always a theory.

I check my phone because I think it's weird that I am the only one in this classroom, not even a teacher is in here.
Apparently my class was canceled which I really disliked.

I walk to my locker because that would be my last lesson for today and I don't join any teams or clubs so I start walking home just like everyday.
On my way home I am very lucky, when I walk through the park Ashley and her friends are there. I walk faster and faster but at the last moment of course she sees me, bad luck.

They run in my direction, I don't want to run away because that would be very stupid I guess, then they would think that I am weak.
I feel someone tearing on my arm and I can't walk forward anymore. They pull me to the ground and then I am laying there looking in the faces of everyone who bullies me, say mean things to me, it kinda scares me but I don't want to show them how scared I really am. I am the strong girl who can do everything on her own, who doesn't need anybody else.

They punch me and scream mean things just like they always do, nothing I am not used to. But for some reason this time the things that they said hurt me. When they let me go I stand up and walk away as fast as I can, all I can think about is the things they said. I stop at the front of my house, it's pretty huge, I can say that our family isn't that poor. Do I want to go inside?

The answer to that question is no, but I have to go. It's a cold day today and I can't be outside the whole day, I would freeze. I walk inside and thank God only my mom is home.

"Hey mom, I am going to my room"
"Hey Rose, uhmm sure"

When I was younger I always used to come home from school and jump on the couch just to do nothing for the rest of the day but right now I need things to keep my mind busy otherwise I will get crazy. My habits aren't good and I am trying to help myself but when I have those voices in my head I can't help myself, that is simply impossible. I open the door from my bedroom and almost fall over my doorstep. It is such an annoying thing, you'd think I would know that it is there, and believe me I do, but it feels like everyday it's moving a few inches. I know it doesn't but it really feels like it does. Anyway I throw my backpack on the floor and go sit on the chair in front of my desk.

Halfway through my homework my mom calls me because dinner is ready, yes my favorite meal of the day, not at all, but I have to eat. I have a secret, I have already told you I have bad habits and food is one of them. I don't like food, when I am at school I don't eat at all and when I am home I have to eat so I just purge afterwards so no one will notice. When I look at myself in the mirror I see a fat ugly girl who isn't happy at all. Apparently I am very good at hiding because in the 3 years I am doing these things no one had ever asked anything. You can say I am a clever girl, I guess.

My mom and I are still the only one home.

"How was your day sweetheart?"

"Just like always mom"

" You always say that but what is an 'always-day' like then? Tell me"

"Nothing special. I wake up I do my make-up, walk to school, attend my classes and then walk home and do my homework and dinner in between and then I go to bed."

"sounds pretty boring, huh?"

"Yep"

After dinner I do my daily routine, getting rid of the food I have just eaten. I am very thankful that I have my own bathroom connected to my bedroom.
After I have done that, I go on with my homework and then go to sleep.