Forbidden Love ੈ♡˳ MikaYuu

𝓉𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓋𝑒

"Don't fucking cry!" He huffed in front of my face but I shook my head immediately, giving him a sign that I don't want to.

"No, Mikaela! I won't stop crying! You are going to hurt me again! It hurts Mikaela, it hurts so much! Why are you doing this to me? I don't want this, I don't want any of this! I just want you back, I want the old you back!" I yelled while sobbing hard, I closed my eyes but still I felt his direct stares at me. I was shocked that's why I opened my eyes and paused for a moment when I felt that he brushed his finger to wipe my tears away.

"Don't cry." I bit my lower lip when I realized the gentle of his voice.

What's happening to him? Why is he being like this? Is he alright? He's just a heartless guy who didn't care about me and especially in my feelings and why he's acting like this? Why do I feel that he didn't want me to cry? Why do I feel for the first time that he didn't want to hurt me? And why do I feel that he's still the old Mika? I don't want to assume, I don't want to feel any expectations for him. He's just drunk, he didn't know what he's doing. I gasped in shock even more as my eyes widened when I saw the unexpected things that suddenly came out from his own eyes, my heart just skipped a beat. I don't know how to react at the time like this,

Are that... Tears?

He's crying?

Mikaela's crying?

Is this real? Am I imagining things again? Or I'm dreaming?

"Mika?" I hesitated but shock swallows over me when the tears suddenly fall down on my cheeks; it is not mine, it's not my tears but it's his tears, I glanced directly at his eyes and I saw— sadness and agony? That is the first time I've seen his expression like that, is this even real? Please slap me, is this a joke?

"Mikaela..." I called him, I should push him right now and run away from him but something stops me. My own feelings stopped me, I just stayed in my place while watching Mikaela's face. His tears continues falling down on my wet cheeks.

"I want to..." I heard him whispered as I nod my head slowly to show him that I will listen to him, I will listen to what he's going to say. "I want to forget this pain but I don't know how I'm going to do that? When I'm looking to you it just like the accident actually happened yesterday, it just like she just left me. I want to forget all, I want to... I'm not okay since that day, fucking not. I've never been better, I just get used to it." He muttered as he put his head on my shoulder and continues crying, I didn't move. I didn't blink, I couldn't think of something else. My mind was not processing very well, my heart was pounding so fast like it was going to explode.

"I can't take this anymore." His whisper makes me shiver down my spine.

This is the reason why I didn't face him three years ago, this is the main reason why I don't have any strength to face him back then because— I don't want to see him crying because of me, I don't want to see him in pain and now... I'm actually seeing things, he's crying because of the pain and it's all my fault.

"Mika..." I slowly put my hand on his head and started caressing his soft fluffy blond hair.

"Please stay with me." My heart rapidly raced faster when he whispered that to me, my lips parted as I formed my palm into fists.

Is this true? Or he's just drunk that's why he's saying these things to me? I quickly shook my head. No, no. You shouldn't be fool that easy again, Yuichiro. He's a person who didn't care about you at all, he's a heartless person who loves hurting you, who loves seeing you crying. He's just a bastard who broke your heart and life, Yuichiro. His words means nothing at all.

"Mikaela, you're just drunk. Please go back to your room now." I said, he didn't move, his face just stayed on my shoulder that's why I realized that he fell asleep on my shoulder, it's been minutes when I let him on my side. I gently laid him in bed and wore my pajama again after that. I stared at him for a second, he's so peaceful when he's sleeping. He's like an angel but he's really not, I slowly put my hand on his cheeks and wiped his tears away.

He looked so drunk, so wasted. I shook my head as I laid in bed too and faced the other side, I shut my eyes again trying to get a good sleep and forget what happened this night but I flinched in shock when someone suddenly forced me to face the other side. My eyes widened when I saw him, Mikaela forced me to face him and his red eyes were looking straightly at me. I sees him lifted his hand as I felt that he slowly put his hand on mine and hold my hand tightly, my mouth parted, I didn't move. He just closed his eyes again until he fell asleep after that. He didn't say any words, what is this? What is really happening to him? Oh? He's drunk right? Yes, he's just drunk that's why he's doing this.

But what if this is what truly Mika's hiding for a long time? What if he's just expressing his own feelings? His hand is soft, it's so warm. Heck, I don't know anymore— I can't understand him anymore. My thoughts were killing me, but what if I'm not the only one here who's weak inside? What if I'm not the only here who's acting like a tough person? What if I'm not the only one here who's keeping all by myself?

Just because my eyes doesn't tear up, doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry and just because I come off strong doesn't mean nothing is wrong. What if Mikaela has a same feelings as I? But I don't think so, that's impossible. I think I'm just bad in understanding other people's feelings. My mind and my heart were arguing right now and I can't do anything about it. Is that even possible to the point of view of a heartless guy who's always hurting me and especially who was always hurting my feelings?

Did he just really show his weakness to me?

Or this is just an act? And just a lie?