Daddy Dearest [some boyxboy]

Six

It was too hot in the little dressing room.

That was probably because there were so many guys in there. Ashley and Kyle and the blonde guy-  who's name I still didn't know - were all clustered around one dressing table and I shyly edged over to them, hoping they'd let me stand there. Kyle grinned at me when I reached them.

"Wow, Danny," he said. "You look amazing."

I didn't think so, but I smiled at him anyway. I felt horribly uncomfortable; I was wearing shiny black leather trousers which clung to me like a second skin. Underneath I had a very tight pair of briefs which left little to the imagination and were incredibly restricting. I wasn't wearing a shirt, but I'd been rubbed all over with a sweet-smelling oil so my skin shone. A girl had smeared pale foundation all over my face and outlined my eyes with Kohl. I felt wrong.

"Nervous?" Ashley asked me, with a sympathetic pat on my arm.

"A little," I said. It was more than a little, really, but I wasn't going to let on . Kyle grinned at me.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Everyone gets first night jitters. Give it a week or two and you'll wonder why you were ever nervous. It's easy."

"Easy?" I gave a shaky laugh and Ash nodded insistently.

"Sure. I mean come on. These people are handing over hundreds of their hard earned pounds and all you have to do is dance," he explained. "It's empowering."

"I...I guess I didn't think of it like that," I confessed. Then my name was called and I stumbled over to the heavy curtain at the back of the stage.

***

I staggered through the moves on stage, but I got a fair amount of applause and had wads and wads of cash tucked into the waistband of my briefs. When I finally stumbled off the stage, Pete was waiting for me, grinning. I was shocked when he flung his arms around me and gave me this huge hug.

"I am so proud of you!" he said. "You did great out there, kiddo, and my god, you look divine!"

"Thanks," I felt myself blush.

"I mean it - you could give Jay a run for his money," he indicated the beautiful blond and I felt a wave of involuntary pride. Pete cocked his head on one side. "Hey, how's about you get dressed and I buy you a drink, yeah?"

"Oh," I swallowed. "That would be lovely but I..."

"Need to get back to your son?" he said. "Say no more. Maybe next time, eh?"

"Sure. Next time," I smiled.

I woke with a start. Last night had truly not been as bad as I'd expected, but it wasn't exactly good either. At any rate, the other guys seemed impressed that Pete had offered to buy me a drink. I'd assumed that was an ordinary occurrence, that he offered that to all the new guys. Apparently not. Kyle insisted that it was a good sign and Ashley said he hadn't shut up about me since we met - he reckoned he proper fancied me. Jay just gave me a smile that looked like it had some kind of subtext that I just couldn't work out.

Jakey stirred beside me and I smiled at him.

"Can I really stay off nursery today, Daddy?" he asked.

"You bet your butt you can," I said. "What do you want to do? We could go for a day out - Daddy got paid last night, look. We could go get ice cream? Or we could go to the cinema?" Suddenly, there was a heavy smattering of rain against the window. "Or we could just stay in and watch a film? And I'll tell you what, I'll make you your favourite soup at lunchtime and then at tea we'll go out and get pizza, yeah? Or get some delivered?"

"That's lots of money," Jake touched the five and ten and twenty pound notes with his fingertips. "Are we rich now, Dad?"

"Not yet, mate," I laughed.

"But we're not poor any more?" he asked. I sighed.

"I mightn't even go that far," I said, stroking his hair. "But we've got a bit of extra cash at the moment. Might as well splash out, eh?"

"Okay," he grinned, cuddling in close again.

We had a lazy morning in bed and then when we got up at lunchtime, as promised, I whipped up a pot of his favourite tomato and basil soup. He had two bowls, dunking crackerbreads and croutons into both of them.  We spent the afternoon playing daft paper games - noughts and crosses, battleships, hangman - and then we sat on the sofa and watched cartoons. 

"Dad?" he asked, sounding thoughtful. 

"Yes, pal?" I replied. He looked up at me, his pale little face earnest. 

"Why do I not have a Mummy?" he asked. I sighed. I knew these questions were going to come sometime, I guess, but I was kinda hoping for later rather than sooner. 

"You have got a Mummy, pal," I rubbed the bridge of my nose. 

"Why doesn't she live with us, then? Isn't she your wife?" Jake asked. 

"No," I told him. 

"Isn't she your girlfriend then?" he asked. 

"She used to be," I said. I thought about how to explain this so he would understand. "Sometimes when ladies have babies they get poorly and can't look after their babies properly. And your mum got poorly - very, very poorly - and she couldn't look after you. She couldn't even look after herself. She had to go and live at a special hospital where they could look after her and you came to live with me, at my mum's house. Do you remember living at Nanny and Grandad's house? You probably don't you were still just a baby when we moved out." 

"I remember it a little bit," he said. "I like it more here. It's much much better when it's just me and you." 

"I like it better too," I gave him a tight hug. 

"That man who was here the other day, the one who bought the chips. Is he going to be your boyfriend?" Jake asked. 

"Of course not," I promised. 

"Good. You're my daddy. I don't want to share you," he said. 

He laid his head on my chest and I kissed his head and promised he'd never have too.