Dear jack | Jack and jack

Hey jack, || follow up

Hey jack,
I wrote to you a year ago, it's been a long time since I wrote too you, I'm so sorry that I stopped texting the phone number, that I stopped writing you letters and how I stopped seeing you.. It was so hard to keep going back and keep seeing you dead in the dirty floor.. I remember my last letter I said I was going to kill myself so I could be with you, I didn't do it after all, well I tried. I got ready to lay on the floor and overdose away on pills and cut myself, but I remembered how sad my parents and how your parents were and I called for help, told them I was depressed over you and they got me help and medication.. I'm getting better jack and I hope you see that, it's not my time to see you again and I wish it was, oo how I wish I could kiss your lips again and how I could hold you one more time, it kills me soo bad, but I try to stay strong for you, for US. I can't see life without you, I still can't, but I'm still trying to get throw this and over your death.. You don't understand the pain you put US in.. I wake up every morning to that empty bed and to OUR empty house, the house is so big and I want to sell it, it brings bad memories and great ones, but I can't Live here anymore and see that your things are not touched since you left, I miss you buddy, I miss you much and it kills me.. You killed me the most, I love you and I don't know how to feel better when the doctor told me to write to you, I told her it would make it worse but she though it would help, but I'm sitting here typing on this laptop and my heart is beating and my eye are burning and all I can do is try not to cry, I want to cry for you and I want to scream, I want you back!! I really do, come back please, tell me you were on vacation for a year and couldn't talk to me, tell me something so I know your still alive and that you still love me that your death wasn't my fault, please jack, I need something, I need you.. When they put you down in the ground I ran to you jack, I fell to my knees and I cried, I begged them to take you out that you weren't dead, I tried to grab you jack, tried to hold you but they wouldn't let me, your mom grabbed me in her arms and cried with me, I screamed for you to wake up, I screamed jack, did you hear me? I screamed for you, I wanted you back so bad! Every song we sang I can't sing no more because it's not the same without you, I stopped the tour and the fans cried for you, some came to see you get put down to the ground, they cried hard like I did, some brought you flowers and your favorite things and we put them with you, I put my mic down there with you in your arms so you had part of me and I have your mic in the room, I look at it and it reminds me of your raps and reminded me that something wasn't right and that it was my fault, it was my fault that you died and that I didn't say anything too you, i feel like your watching me, that you see me in pain and see me cry for you. I don't want you more sad up there seeing me cry or slowly die because your no longer here, I want you happy Jack, but I just hate I can't make you happy anymore because your no longer here and I can no longer make you happy.. Oo how I wish I could make you smile again and hear your laugh, it kills me all I have are videos from fans or from YouTube, it sucks that all I got is old recorded videos instead of waking up next to you and really hearing you voice instead of a make voice, I wish you wrote a letter telling me, but you left without saying a word, you kissed me that night and it felt fake and I was so stupid I didn't see it.. I didn't see a lot of things and I guess I didn't see this or your pain, I was stupid for that and I know things will get better, but all I know is it will be hard to get over you, because you were my first love since I was five, I hope you understand I will never give up on you, I'll never stop, I'll try to see you once more and I'll follow you, I'll keep trying. Please don't give up on me.. Your all I need and all I love [I'm sorry I couldn't get to you,] - jack
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I was asked for an update on the story ( suicide note ) so I made another update for it! Hopefully you guys enjoy this!