Just a quick beginning thing here, we didn't include all your comments, just the questions, but if you'd like your comment to be here just ask and it's done.
Enjoy!
Anon: "What do we do if we've tried to come out multiple times but out parents just keep cutting us down
My parents keep laughing at me and telling me I'm wrong, and making rude comments. Any advice?"
Patches: First off, I'm sorry that anyone, especially family members, would do this. It's their job to accept and support you no matter what. If you have any friends that will accept you, come out to them first. They will provide a support pillar for you. And be persistent with your parents. Make it clear that you're not joking and never let the subject disappear. However, don't bring it up constantly. Depending on what you're coming out as, this could be done in different ways. If it's gender, dress as you see fit, and not how others want. If it's sexuality, make small side comments about it without it taking the spotlight. This will get them used to it. Regardless, do what you feel would help/work. Don't limit yourself to others advice. Best of luck to you.
SAM: I would have to agree with Patches. I don't know if I can add much more to her advice, but I'd say if you have a close accepting family member coming out to them as well might help. Or really any adult. I found it easier to come out to my parents after I told my Great Aunt who I was really close with. It might help solidify your support pillar if you have an adult like that.
Anon: "thank you for this, is there any way I can be sure what I am? I know that sounds weird. I know I am pansexual, but I am not sure if I am gender queer, fluid or trans. it seems to change every day."
Parches: The only way to be sure is to first question. Question absolutely everything. Experiment with what you like in order to find what's most comfortable for you, and if it changes, that's fine too. For the time being, you could use the term non-binary to describe your gender. It is an umbrella term, loosely meaning outside of the typical gender binary. It can also be used as an identity. However, you don't even need to use a label If you don't want to. But remember, take all the time you need. Good luck!
SAM: As Patches said keep questioning things. Think about what makes you comfortable, what makes you feel 'iffy', and what you don't like. Question why that is so. It helps some people feel more comfortable if they do some research. I had a friend that did that before he came out and I did so as well. It depends on what makes you feel more confident. As Patches stated you don't even really need labels.
Anon: "This is for Patches: I don't really know what I am, it's really confusing. I was born a girl and go by she/her pronoun at the moment. I am only 12 so if I do figure out what I am I probably won't come out soon. Also my friends are accepting - one of them came out as pan and they're still friends.
I have long hair and love pink. I have a pink bedroom and clothes and love getting my hair braided. I quite like dresses too. But I hate the idea of make up and going out in heels when I'm older. I also went out with my sisters friends (she's a tomboy) and I loved laughing with the boys and being rowdy. Some days I want to love my long hair and others I want to cut it off.
That's just the start of it, do you know anything about what I might be and how to be happier but not come out and stuff. Thanks for reading my rant."
Patches: First off, try not to associate what you like too much with your gender. A guy who goes to my school absolutely loves pink, as well as fashion(mainly hair) and identifies as male. This applies for all genders. But try not to worry too much about it. Question everything, and don't be afraid to experiment. We will be posting a chapter about different terms that describe different gender identities and sexual orientations soon, and I hope that will help. However, only you can decide what to identify as. You could use the term non-binary for the time being. Or forever if you please. Don't feel the need to place a label on yourself, and if you must there's plenty of time. The same goes for coming out. Go at your own pace, don't feel pressured to come out if you're not comfortable. Hope this helped!
Anon: "for coming out- im 12 and im bisexual. i want to come out to my parents but my dad will most likely hate me forever and possibly kick me out, but my mom wouldnt care. i dont know if shed tell or not :\.
and for pronouns- i really dont care what anybody calls me... i consider myself agender, but i dont care what im called. is that still agender?"
Patches: On the subject of your gender- agender is typically defined as being without gender, gender less, or not identifying with any other gender. If you feel this description fits you, then you are likely agender. However, you and only you know your gender, regardless of pronouns. On the subject of coming out- try bringing up the subject of bisexuality around your father to see how he reacts without revealing yourself. If you honestly believe that you will be unsafe in coming out, then the safest option I'm afraid is simply not to. For you and anyone else reading this, do not come out if you find yourself in an unsafe position where you could be hurt, kicked out, disowned, or otherwise. Especially if you don't have another relative who is willing to take you in. I know it's not pleasant, but your safety takes priority.
SAM: She's right. Safety is a number one priority but not only in a physical sense. If someone in college is getting financial support from there parents and there parents aren't to fond of people from the lgbt community and they might not want to come out. The parents might try to use it against them.
Anon: "Is it bad to hate someone you're supposed to love?"
Patches: Absolutely not. Nobody other than yourself can chose whom you love, and so you're not "supposed" to love anyone. For me, this actually includes family. You are not obligated to like, love, dislike, hate, ect, anyone solely due to their relationship to you.
SAM: I dislike a lot of my family so I don't feel like there is anyone you're 'supposed' to love. It is your feelings so you're not obligated to feel what people think you should feel. If you hate someone or love them and people say you should feel a certain way towards them that conflict with what you do feel, I'd say they can deal with it. You are your own person and you'll feel how you feel, whether they like it or not.
