Dark Days

You Ain't Woman Enough

That first night, tired as I was, I couldn't sleep. I lay there with Gracie beside me and I couldn't sleep. It wasn't the same without Reid beside me. I keep telling myself that it would get easier with time but I missed my blue eyed Sheriff. I get up and walk over to the window. I stare outside at the crisp, clear night sky. From in here you would never guess that the world had ended and there were dead people walking the streets, eating the living. I look back at Gracie still sound asleep in her bed and I wipe yet another tear from my already stained face. Would this ever stop? Would I ever be able to stop crying, to stop hurting? I blow out a puff of air and a stray strand of hair flew up out of my face. I brush it behind my ear as I leave Gracie's bedroom and descend the stairs. I tip toe to the front door trying not to wake Conner who was sleeping on the couch tonight for some reason. He was snoring loud enough to wake the dead too. I slide the door open and slowly close it behind me as I step out onto the porch. I stand at the edge of the steps staring out at the sky and taking in the cool night air.

I was leaning against the post enjoying the peace and quiet and I had my eyes closed just letting the cool breeze sweep across my face when two arms slide around my waist and pull me back into a hard, muscular chest. It feels so comfortable and my first thought was of Reid, coming to apologize and make this all alright. "What are you out here for sweet cheeks?" I jump and turn to find myself looking into those tender green eyes of Conner Dillon instead of Reid Davis. I slide out of his arms and take a seat on the top step motioning for him to sit beside me. "Couldn't sleep, you?" he shrugs as he sits down beside me.

"Saw you sneaking out, thought you might be tryin' to get yourself in some more trouble."

"Well, thank you Conner. Good looking out but I'm not going to do anything stupid like try to get myself killed or anything. I don't just have myself to worry about anymore." I smile at him as I put my hand over my stomach.

Conner wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side, "Good at least you're thinking straight."

When I come down in the morning with Gracie for breakfast Reid had already left for work. Gracie was so excited today. She had a list of stuff for us to do together today. After our breakfast I walk her down the block to burn off some of that toddler energy of hers. When we get back around to our street Gracie runs off ahead of me to our house where her big brother Charlie was waiting. "Hey are you just going to ditch me little girl?" She turns and looks at me, thinking. I huff and stomp my foot playfully as I stretch out my arms. She runs into them squeezing my neck. "Go have some fun with your big brother, baby." She smiles and I stand up and watch her run inside. "I never get tired of seeing you with her." Reid says from behind me. I didn't say anything I just start back to the house. "Rachel," he says is his authoritative rational way. I groan under my breath as I turn to look at him. He was standing there in that uniform, his hands on his hips in that typical Reid Davis stance. God, why did this man have to be so damn hot? I was so mad at him, I want to claw his eyes out but all I can think of was getting him back to that house and ripping that uniform off his body and just taking him. My eyes scan him and I can feel the creepy smile come across my face. I hear him chuckle which snaps me back to reality. He was standing there grinning at me while I was staring at him. "Screw you, Reid!" I growl as I turn around trying to show him I was still mad at him and failing miserably. He follows a few steps behind me. He stops at the curb and watches me as I climb the stairs. Conner was waiting at the top and I see him spread that sly grin of his onto his face as his gaze went right passed me to Reid. I can almost hear Reid's jaw clenching now. Conner keeps his stare locked on Reid as he puts his arm over my shoulders and walks me inside.

Reid and I did a pretty good job at avoiding each other over the next week or so, but there were still occasions when we would run into each other. We kept it civil though not many words were spoken between us. I didn't leave the house too much anyway for fear of running into Lisa. I'd like to think that I'd be the bigger woman and just leave her alone, but the truth is I didn't know what I would do if I ran into her, and that scared me. My best imaginative efforts always ended up with her on the ground bleeding profusely. Martha, Sam and Cathy were always with me, like they were scared to leave me alone. Their company I think might be just the thing that is helping me keep my sanity. We've spent most of our days together cleaning houses, doing laundry, all that mundane house work we all used to loathe back before the world went to shit. The four of us got so much closer than we had ever been. If it wasn't the girls it was Conner. It almost felt as if we had rekindled some of those old feelings at times. Every single time Reid saw me with Conner I could see that jealous glint flash in his eyes, which made it that much better. He couldn't stand the thought of Conner being closer to me than he was.