Trees // joshler

Three

Just need to say this is a trigger warning, wherever I put ****TW**** just skip that part love, it shouldn't be too important <3

Joshes POV

We get back from fishing, it was pretty boring but at least we were together like a happy family. I go shower and then check my phone.

Joshy!!: hola amigo

Baby boy: hey...

Joshy!!: dark

Joshy!!: you okay?

Baby boy: well uh

Baby boy: yeah I'm fine

Joshy!!: can you FaceTime?

Baby boy: yeah sure

I answer the call and try and hide the fact I'm feeling like total shit.
"Ty guy, I miss making music with you"
"It's only been 6 days." I snapped
That was rude Tyler, he just misses you, you'd do the same. You're horrible.
"Watch the sass there boi" Josh said and snapped his fingers.
"Sorry, it's just been a long day."
My mom chimes in with "Tyler, I'm going grocery shopping, I'll be back in an hour, your father went out golfing with buddies.  If you need anyone just call one of us."
I turn my face revealing the bruise on my jaw to the front camera.
"Yeah, okay, love you." I replied.
I saw joshes eyes widen in the corner of my eye
Fuck, he sees it he sees it he's gonna ask, he's gonna get worried. Fuck, I hate doing this to him.
She leaves and I return to my call.
"Dude, your face! What happened there"
"N-nothing, I just uh, h-hit a tree."
Nice job
"No, tell me what really happened"
The fake happy expression fell off my face, he's seeing through it.
No, no I don't want you to worry about me I'll handle it. I don't want to take you down with me.
"Was it drew?" He asks concerningly.
My eyes water up, I hang up the phone and throw it.
.youre a horrible friend. You keep lying to him. He hates you. You're a burden. Dead weight. You can fake it better than that.

"UGH I JUST WANT TO BE OKAY, WHY WONT THIS LEAVE ME ALONE." I scream into a pillow in frustration.

****SELF HARM TRIGGER WARNING****
Stay safe love.

I walk into the bathroom hoping I didn't throw out that razor I popped open.  Rummaging and rummaging, I finally found it.
A small cold little piece of metal, a friend, who can help me. But at the same time, my worst enemy.
I think long and hard about this.
It's summer, you can't wear long sleeves. If you wear anything on your arms people will notice. You can't hide your arms either. Legs are no good because you've got a lot of beach trips this summer. Why do you even want this?
I come to my thoughts, I know this is a bad idea.  But there's something about it, this little piece of metal that brings me comfort.  I glide it across my skin regretting it but enjoying.
Well, I guess you deserve it
The voice in the back of my head is back, he's always there when something bad happens.
All you do is fuck things up. You're probably gonna get beat up for doing this. Jenna is gonna leave you for this.
"Stop it!"
I fall back to the door and sit on the floor.  "Why did I do this? I'm such an idiot, Andrews right about everything. Like when he said I'm weak and I'll never achieve anything. God, why are people so mean."
I started to forget I'm saying all of this out loud.  "Oh god, is anyone back yet?"