Please Forgive Me

My Friend

I've always thought I saw myself in you. I've always tried to live through you. I always thought you lived in a prison of depression. But it was always me. I've ruined your life.

Our friendship. I wanted to feel validated and being with you and making you smile made me feel validated. But I never thought about how you felt. I only thought about myself. I was so stupid.

Before we even became friends I would watch you from afar thinking, you seem like very interesting person and very unique in every way. And I just wanted to become friends with you. Every single day I thought about you. I can never forgive myself. I was the one who was depressed.

I was the one who was tasked in that prison. The last thing you said to me, "Please don't talk to me or contact me. I can't help with what you are wanting.You must live for yourself. One day you will understand."

I understand now. I do. I really do. I want you to come back. I want you to do the amazing things you use to do.

I want to start over. To rewind what I did. You made my life validated. You were the reason I smiled. I have tried everything to try and contact you.

But nothing has worked. I want to apologize for what I did. Everything you did was so meaningful and I took everything for granted. Please forgive me. I don't want you to hate me.

I hope you'll see this and you'll understand. I'm nothing. I'm a piece of shit for everything I have done. Ah I ever wanted was to feel validated but I wanted nothing more but to be your friend. I will always be nothing but you aren't.

You have something special that I can't even explain. I want you to go back to what you were doing. Please even though you hate me and probably will never believe a word I say. I am truly sorry. I...I have to go now.

Goodbye my dear friend.