Reylo~Broken Souls--Kylo Ren and Rey

17. The Exchange: Part Three

They were running running sprinting moving dodging don't look back duck around the debris turn on the lights the lights the lights I can't see a thing keep moving. . .

. . .It'll all be over soon.

Bang!

Bangbang!

And then something new filled the air . . .

. . . silence.

"They stopped."

"That can't be good."

"Keep moving!"

No one moved. Everyone waited.

Silence. And then.

BANG!

The white light blew them straight to hell.

-

The mess hall was a mob. People were terrified. They remembered the attack that had taken out so many of them just days before, and were shaken even farther by the emergency signal. Two people stood side-by-side, hands tightly entwined. Hundreds of voices were flooding together around them, creating a mass of confusion.

"Silence!" With one word, it came.

Leia stood at the front of the room, hand raised and fingers outstretched, brandishing her palm to the soldiers beneath her. She was smartly dressed in a black uniform. Her hair was pulled low on her head, twisted and pinned at the nape of her neck. Something Ben had never seen was covering her face. It wasn't fear - no, it wouldn't be. Leia was too courageous and had seen far too much to allow her trepidation to be seen.

Leia looked quite grave, he soon realized. Although his view of her was slightly obscured on account of the people in front of them, he was able to see the stiffness with which she carried herself. Her seriousness slowly spread to the crowd, and made him feel incredibly guilty.

"Today," Leia began, her tongue drawing out the word, "we awake to grave news. The First Order has become stronger than ever, and their strength has been demonstrated on our people. Today, we mourn the loss of Resistance base Keystone."

It was as though an invisible hand had flipped a switch. People were on their feet, pushing toward the stage, pushing toward Leia, crying out in anger, cursing the First Order. Ben stood pressed side-by-side with Rey, unwilling to move.

Leia was holding up her hands, speaking into the microphone chip that was on the roof of her mouth. "Silence!" People were stubborn, and Leia was forced into repeating herself. Finally, slowly, silence creeped in.

"We also awake to the realization that a female prisoner was aided in her escape last night. I'm telling you about this incident because it is closely intertwined with the destruction of Keystone. The female prisoner who escaped was far more important than a mere arsonist. She is a commander of the First Order, and she is the one who ordered the attack on Keystone."

Ben could feel his face turning white like a sheet, and he was trying so hard to continue listening, because surely there was more to listen to, but guilt was filling up his brain, ordered the attack ordered the attack, ordered ordered ordered, he was responsible, he killed, people died because of him, ordered ordered, his mother was looking for him, looking for the person who had set Raz free, ordered ordered, and all he could think about was his used-to-be friend, about Nico, who had tricked him into releasing one of the most valuable people in the First Order, God, he was stupid, he had been played, ordered ordered, Nico had tricked him, used his love against him, so stupid, so very very stupid.

Outside the windows, rain was falling, pelting the ground like little bullets, moving consistently and never failing.

He was vaguely aware of the emergency meeting finishing, of Rey by his side as they left, as they went back, as they passed the angry, innocent people he had betrayed in the hallways, as they came to his door and passed that too, as Rey opened the door to hers and pushed them both through it.

She was pacing. She was terrified. Her hair was falling in her face, in her eyes. Her mouth would open a little, and then close, as though she thought better of what she was about to say. She looked at him. Eyes wide, eyes shining, she looked at him.

"What are we going to do?"

He shook his head. Words, it seemed, were frozen on his tongue. He was remembering. Ben was remembering the false contentment with which he had relished in causing pain. Somehow, the old emotions opened his mouth. Somehow, his tongue wasn't heavy anymore.

"I knew there would be consequences if I went back with you," Ben began, heart pumping and aching. "But this? More blood on my hands? I . . . I didn't know that would be the price I had to pay. It's not that I blame you for what happened - I don't. I understand it was my choice to come after you and to make that deal with Nico."

Ben paused. Rey had stopped pacing. She was watching him. Eyes wide, she was watching him. Trepidation in her heartbeat, she was watching him.

"I understand that he tricked me. But . . . When I look at you, I can't help but see the choice I made. Do you understand? I didn't know it at the time, but I was choosing between committing a heinous crime and having love. And what scares me, Rey? What makes me afraid to close my eyes at night? It's the knowledge that I would choose you again in a heartbeat. Even if I had known what would have happened if I made that deal, I would have chosen you."

Rey wasn't crying, not fully. But her eyes were wet. Her lashes were wet. She was blinking. His lashes were wet. He was blinking.

"I'm selfish, Rey. I'm going to always choose you. I'm going to always put you first. And that right there - my affection towards you - it'll get us both killed."

AN: Lots happened in this chapter. I would appreciate any feedback! :)

As always, thanks for reading.