But I'm Straight (Phan AU)

Chapter 46

Phil started nibbling and I couldn't help it as a loud moan came out. I blushed furiously, because this was supposed to be a stunt but was really having an effect on me.

And, I couldn't help it. I liked exhibitiosm. I felt my groan pulsing in my tight jeans. Phil's head shot up in shock. I groaned internally, he must have felt it on his bum. My face heated up even more as I pushed Phil off of me.

He fell of my seat and into the aisle of the train. His head hit on of the bars people hold onto and he rubbed his head. Everyone in the bus looked at him with a bored expression but I did hear a few people laughing at the teen boy laying in the aisle with a bump on his head from hitting it.

"What the hell, Dan?" Phil shouted.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled. I felt like punching myself for being such an idiot. I slipped my hands up my sleeves feeling the indentations and raised wounds on my arms. I scratched my wrists roughly, probably opening up one or two cuts that have finally faded into light scars.

When Phil saw me, scratching my arms raw, his face flooded with guilt as he got back into his seat.

He grabbed my hand and pulled it out of my sleeve.

"Stop it, Dan. Don't do that to yourself. You are doing so great." I looked up into his blue eyes to see them watering.

He leaned down and kissed the back of my hand then held it in his lap. I felt guilty for making Phil upset, but I can't help it.

I haven't self harmed for a year but ever since accidentally burning myself while lighing a candle in our flat, I yearned [??] for the feel of the physical pain again. I used the rubber band snapping and scratching "tips", but it just wasn't the same. I wanted to see the open cute slowly turning red as blood came out in beads. I wanted to lightly tap on the beads of blood and rub my fingers together.

Blood was an essential thing to a life everyone has coursing through their veins. It made me feel like everyone else, normal. It made me feel like every straight, happy, pretty, and skinny boy. Like I wasn't different nor a freakz

I came back to reality and looked at Phil. He was looking out the window with headphones in.

He is so beautiful. Shiny, soft black locks falling as it led down his beautiful eyes that I could get lost in for days. Then his nose, his gorgeous nose. He often complained about it being crooked and big and ugly. But to me, it fit him and I loved it all the same, because it belonged to my love

  His pink plump lips were parted gently. His lips were my favorite part of him. I could kiss them all day and night, never getting bored of the tingly feeling I felt in my lips. Never getting bored of the way his lips felt like a puzzle piece to mine. Never getting bored of the feelimg of my stomach flipping, then turning to jello.

He was just so beautiful in every way and I didn't deserve him. And he didn't deserve to have to put up with my pathetic self.

I just want to love him. I want to kiss and touch every single inch of him, from head to toe. I want to make him feel good.

Before I got too lost in my thoughts, a voice came over the loud speaker.
"We will be arriving to station 104: Manchester in five short minutes."

I tapped Phil and he took out his headphones, "We're gonna be there in five minutes," I told Phil

He nodded and sent a quick text to his mom, telling her we are going to be at the station in five minutes. Phil wrapped his headphones around his phone and stuffed it into his pocket.

"I'm so excited to see my parents." Phil said

"Me too." I replied.

When the train stopped. I grabbed Phil's boney, nimble hand and led him through the aisle. At the platform, I saw behind a huge group of people, Phil's parents. . She waved as she saw me and I smiled.

Once we made our way to them, Dan hugged his mom tightly, telling her how much he missed her.

"Hi, Mr. Lester." I greeted politely holding my hand out.
I was taken aback when Phil's dad pulled me into a tight bear hug.
"Hello Phil, how are you?" He smiled kindly. I seriously loved Phil's dad. He was so nice.

"I'm doing good, how are you?"

"Great. Thanks."

"Okay, well let's head home, boys." Mrs. Lester smiled. We followed them to their car and sat in the back.

The parents started talking amongst themselves as I looked out the window. I felt eyes on me and I turned to see Phil looking at me fondly.

"You're so cute, baby." I blushed and giggled.

"I love you, lion."

"I love you too." He replied.

***
Back at the Lesters' home, Mrs. Lester was cooking a roast as Mr. Lester watched football on the tv. Me and Phil sat on the other couch, legs intertwined talking.

"Um....Phil, can I ask you something."
"Anything." He assured.

I gulped because this is embarrassing, "ithinkimready." I said at once, super fast and covering my face.

"What was that?" Phil asked.

"Phil, I think I'm ready. To have sex with you." I saw Phil's eyes light up because I knew he was ready but was just waiting for me. I also wanted to wait till my cuts faded to scars so nothing opened up.

"Are you sure, Dan?" Phil questioned.

"Yes." I answered.

"Okay. When we get home." He kissed my forehead and I felt my heart flutter.

Tonight was going to be amazing.

****
Author's Note: Hi guys!! :) I hope you enjoyed. So I have some great news and I (hope) you guys will be excited. This is not the last chapter! I'm sorry for being so indecisive and problematic lol. I remembered some things that I have had planned since the start of this book and haven't included yet. And THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reads, votes, and comments. They make me so happy <3 The next chapter will be up by next Sunday (hopefully). And even if it is a few days later, (which I will try my best not to) but no promises since I'm going to the beach for the week, I promise I won't go on an eight month hiatus. Lol.

I ALSO WANT TO SAY i'm very sorry if i leave some ends loose it's just I started writing this story a long time ago so I do forget some of the things I put in this book.

BYEEE GUYS <3 :*