Not Twilight (a parody)

Chapter Two: Forks High School

I woke up the next morning still in my clothes. I guess that would make sense if I fell asleep in my clothes. I decided to not change.

I got up and went downstairs.

"Dad!!!!" I screamed when I saw the horror in the kitchen. I don't know how but Charlie somehow managed to turn this teen fiction novel into a horror story.

"Your suppose to put the cereal in BEFORE the milk!" I shouted, diving in front of him to prevent him from eating bad cereal. He seemed disappointed that I had spilled cereal in his lap but it was for his own good.

"Bella you need to get going to school." He said as he wiped the Lucky Charms off his police uniform.

"Okay. Hey do you think if I take that crappy old truck to school that the other kids will make fun of me?" I asked.

"Bella," he began as he put one hand on my shoulder. "I stole you that truck for one reason and one reason only, so you can be the misfit." He hugged me proudly.

"Thanks, Dad! I will!" I said excitedly. I grabbed the keys labeled "sucks to have to pick me up" and drove to school.

When I got there I walked up to the lady at the front desk in the office.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan." I said nicely.

"What do you want!!!?" She said with tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked up from a book she was reading called 'New Moon'.

"Umm... I'm new and I was wondering if I could get a map or something." I said.

"Why did he have to leave her!!?" She sobbed on. I slowly began to back away.

"Wwwwwhhhhhyyyy!!!!" She shouted again. I backed up even more. Then she threw the book against the wall shouting "it's not fair" and I ran out the door screaming.

It turned out I was running so fast that I ran right into some other kid and we both tumbled into the ground. After I helped him pick up his books I introduced myself.

"Hi I'm Bella Swan." I said.

" I know who you are. You are new and sadly misunderstood." He said with a smile.

"Cool!" I replied. "You can walk me to my next class."

"Actually you have gym now and I have Trig just go down the hall and to the left and a bunch of other unimportant things are said in this conversation." He smiled, patted me on the back and left.

"Nice meeting you!" I called after him.

I followed the route he told me to and made it to P.E. where I met a girl named Jessica who was going to be my fake best friend slash escape route to keep this story in reality. We were on the same volleyball team and the other kids in gym were playing basketball across from us. They were all super lucky to have me on their team because I was super competitive.

When another girl on my team hit a guy in the head with her terrible version of a spike I had to retrieve it.

"Sorry. The girls in this class suck." I said. He was playing basketball.

"It's cool. Your Isabella Swan right?" He asked.

"Just Bella." I corrected. I could see Jessica's jealous stare from across the gym.

"See you at lunch!" I said as I walked back to the game.

When gym ended it was lunch time. I stood in the lunch line for like ever!! #waiting

I sat down at a table with Jessica, Mike (the guy I met in P.E.), Jessica, Angela (some girl that always carries around a camera), and Tyler ( some dude that ripped on my ride but has a crush on me).

Suddenly at the other end of the cafeteria I saw a strange boy sitting at a table by himself.

"Who's he?" I asked. Angela and Jessica both looked up.

"That's Barney Figgleton." Said Jessica. I looked up at Barney Figgleton. There was something about his huge glasses and oversized afro that made him look like...... A total idiot! He looked up at me and met my gaze. I quickly looked away hoping that he didn't think that meant anything. Then I saw Jessica standing on top of the table with a huge plastic microphone.

"EXCUSE ME!!!!! MAKE WAY FOR THE CULLENS!!! I REPEAT, THE CULLENS ARE ARRIVING!!! MAKE WAY!!!!" She shouted. I was wondering where she got the microphone from as she stepped off the table and all of the students got up and formed a huge pathway for some family to walk through. I joined them and stayed next to Angela and Jessica.

"Who are they?" I asked.

"The Cullens" Angela replied.

"Yeah I got that!" I responded.

"Oh yeah, they're Doctor and Mrs. Cullen's foster children. They moved down here from Alaska two years ago and they mostly keep to themselves. And they don't eat food." Angela added. I liked Angela.

"They're all together." Jessica continued.

"See the little dark-haired girl?" She asked

"I think everybody sees the little dark haired girl." I said.

"Oh well she'a Alice and she's with Jasper, the blonde one who looks like he's in pain." She said. I examined them.

"Well, Jessica, considering that they're holding hands, thank you for filling me in on information that I already clearly know." I said with a fake smile.

"Okay then, the blonde one is Rosalie the big dark haired guy is Emmett." She filled me in. Finally some valuable information. As Rosalie walked down the aisle I put my hands on my hips and tried to look like more of a supermodel than Rosalie. I gave up when she was out of sight.

Then the last person walked down. He was like a human angel without wings and a harp and possibly sparkles depending on what god you believe in. He looked hot and hunky but soft and gentle. His hair was perfectly gelled which made me question for a second if he was gay. But then I saw some girl on the other side of the aisle across from me faint just by looking at him. He flashed a grin and then that reassured me he was not gay.

"That's Edward Cullen." Jessica said.

"I didn't ask but please, go on." I replied.

"Umm.. He's totally gorgeous, obviously but apparently nobody here is good enough for him. So don't waste your time." She said.

"Wasn't planning on it." I added. But I really was planning on it.