It's Not Easy (NaNoWriMo!)

I Dunno Know

The rest of the hour went by and I filled the holes in my story. I started after my parent's death, a week after the funeral.

Flashback.

I stood outside the door, a strange woman stood with her hand on my shoulder. She punched the doorbell with her finger and waited. I could hear my father's sister open the door. She smiled, but I could see the last tear that fell from her eyes.

“Hi Aunt Jane,” I whispered.

“Hello Sammy. How are you?” she raised the pitch of her voice as she crutched to my eye level.

I looked over to the woman that was with me, and then back to my Aunt, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Hun,” she pulled me into a gentle hug and kissed my brown hair. Once she pulled away, she ushered me into the house and started speaking to the woman.

“It’s settled then? She stays here?” Aunt Jane asked. She played with her wedding ring as she spoke.

“Yes, your family seemed to be the best choice,” the women nodded before saying goodbye and walking back to her car.

“Uncle Jim!” I shrieked as when I saw him turn the corner into the living room. My face fell when I saw him, his eyes drooped and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.

“Hey, Sam,” he croaked as he bent down to welcome me with a hug. “How you been?”

I didn’t say anything, because even at the age of four I knew nothing could be said. Uncle Jim clearly saw that in my face and pulled me into a comforting hug.

Seven-year-old Blair helped me unpack my things into the room that would one day become Jack’s bedroom.

Four year later Jack was born, I was eight at the time and found a baby to be the best possible thing, and I was right. Jack made everything easier because I knew that everyday I could come home to at least one smiling face.

 A year later Uncle Jim left, and with him he took all the respect I had for him. I watched Blair crumble that year, at the young age of twelve she crashed. I would hear her cry in her sleep, but would be too heartbroken to comfort her.

Christmas, the year after Jim left, had to be the best we ever had. We tried to teach Jack to walk, but he wouldn’t move until I stole one of his toys. He chased me around the Christmas tree with the help of my aunt. Blair also laughed that night at supper when Grandma came down, that was the first time I heard her really laugh for what seemed like forever.

After that Christmas, things got better emotionally, but financially everything wavered. Aunt Jane worked two jobs and got money from Jim every month, but it never seemed to be enough. We are just barely scrapping by.

End of Flashback/ character monologue

I wiped the tears off my face, kept my head low and waited for any response from Lindy. One I looked up, her eyes were focused on me, studying me as if I was an infected lab rat.

“What?” I mumbled.

“Just trying to figure out why you broke now. After all those years, why now?” her voice faded out like an echo.

“Because I have no one to stay strong for anymore.” 

***

I came home the counsellors office feeling a bit better and with an appointment set up for in the new year. Lindy told me the I should work on being more positive and thinking more highly about myself, I simple snorted at her and said that was almost impossible.

"Sammy?" Aunt Jane called from her room. I dropped my purse on the couch and walked over to her room.

"Yeah?" I leaned against the doorway and peered down on my aunt, who was wrapped in her bed sheets.

"Do you work today?" she grumbled into her pillow.

"Yup."

"Damn," she sighed and sat up. "Is Blair home yet?"

"I dunno, she should be."

"Get her for me, please," her flopped back onto her bed and groaned. The house was eerily quiet, just the sound of my footsteps echoed through the hallway as I walked toward my bedroom.

"Blair?" I poked my head into the room to see her lying on her bed with her broken leg propped up.

"Yes?" she hissed.

"Your mom needs you."

Blair grumbled something before pulling her leg off the support; I rushed to put my arm around her waist to help lift her off the bed.

"I can do it," she snapped, but she didn't push me off her. Instead, she put most her weight on my arms and reached from her crutches.

"She's in her room," I announced.

"Thanks."

After she had disappeared around the corner, I rushed for the bathroom. I hoped to take a quick shower and eat supper before work started.

****

It's REALLY LATE! I am sorry. Oops. I am writing like rapid fire and I keep forgetting to upload!