My Guardians

Trust

"I love you more baby girl." 

And I'm alone.  

I had went back to sleep for a couple hours and now I was just watching some random show on Netflix.  I wasn't really watching it though, I was thinking about all of the things that happened yesterday.  How could John have known about my sessions with Mitch? Has he been watching me this whole time?  What if he is planning to hurt Jordan or Douglas?  It didn't make any sense.  If he had been watching this whole time, why hasn't he tried to take me back? 

All of these thoughts were giving me a head ache.  Buzz. Buzz. My phone signaled me that I had gotten a text.  

UNKNOWN: I'm coming for you. 

My breath caught in my throat.  This was impossible I watched him get the shit beat out of him last night.  He shouldn't even have this number.  My breathing was becoming shallow as my heart rate accelerated.  Jordan and Douglas aren't going to let anything happen to me, they are going to keep me safe.  There going to keep me safe. Safe.  I just kept repeating those words to myself, trying to force myself to believe them.  I heard my phone buzz again.  

UNKNOWN:  ;)

I dropped my phone off the side of the bed.  Attached was a picture of me over Jordan's lap last night.  This made me go into full panic mode.  My hands went to my hair, pulling, trying to get some relief from the relentless thoughts of last night.  

"Don't act like you don't like it"

"Omega slut."

I'm not a slut! I'm not! I was taking harsh breaths now as I tried to get the thoughts to stop.  It was like my hands had a mind of their own as they made their way down my body scratching and squeezing trying to inflict any amount of pain that they could.  I couldn't stop the tears that had started falling or the loud sobs that followed. Everything bad that happens to me is my fault.  I should have never gone to that god forsaken house last night.  I was starting to feel okay and now I just went and messed everything up.  Maybe I did need to go back to him , I wasn't good enough for Jordan or Douglas.  Who was I kidding?  I am a selfish person though and right now I just wanted them.  

I needed them.  I could feel myself fading further and further into my mind where all of the miserable memories lived.  The first time he hit me, first time he touched me, first time I visited my mothers grave.  I can't take it anymore. I was going to drop and I could feel it.  The last time that I did I almost killed my self but I didn't want that anymore.  I just wanted Jordan and Douglas.  

In throw myself on the floor desperate to get to my phone, my thoughts still going a mile a minute.  

My hands shake as I unlock it and dial Jordan's number.  Come on pick up, pick up.  My head was getting cloudy, it was getting harder to breathe but he wasn't answering .  

"You have reached the voice mail box of 352-7." 

Useless.  I dialed Douglas's phone and he didn't answer either.  I just started to cry harder until another person popped into my head.  Mitch.  I could ask him for help. I dialed his number with one hand as I pinched my thigh with the other.  Please, please pick up.  

"Mitchell here, how can-" I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Mitch! It's K-katie i'm going to d-drop.  Help me pl-please!"  I sobbed into the phone the darkness consuming me.  

"Katie? Where are you? I'll come there right away!" 

"Home."

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