Feels Stories

Night Time Heros

"Night Time Hero"
Author: Trammel May

When I was young, around 4, I guess, I would often have bad dreams and wake up crying. My dad would come into the room and pick me up and rock me to sleep. He called me his lamb chop because I sweat really easily and apparently my sweating child body smelled like meat. He would hold me in his arms while softly singing a little ditty he made up about lamb chops. He would tell me everything was ok, kiss me on the forehead, and put me back in bed.

He was always there for me. One time, I was around the same age (its hard to remember exactly when things happened when you are that young), we went to a funeral for a family member or close friend. I didn't really understand what was going on, as I was just a small child. My mom was weeping while looking up to the front, and my dad stood next to me, holding my hand, looking really stern. I asked him what was going on and he looked down at me and smiled. "Don't worry about it lamb chop." And he squeezed my hand and directed his attention back to the front. This memory sticks out in my mind because he was always there to protect me, even if it was from things I couldn't understand.

He worked a lot, and I mean a lot. I only really saw him at night. Every morning I would wake up and hope he was still home and I would ask mom, "Where is daddy?"

"Your father left." She would reply, she had sadness in her tone. She obviously was upset over the fact that he worked so much that he couldn't even be around for breakfast. It really wasn't that sad to me because my dad was the best dad anyone could have. I feel like it was almost every night after he had come home from work I was scared of ghosts, and he would come in and say, "Don't worry lamb chop, I'll stay here all night and make sure no ghosts get you." I told him that he was like a super hero, but he said, "I may be a hero, but only at night time. During the day you need to be strong and be your own hero lamb chop. Your mother and myself can't always be there for you, but that's ok because you are my son. You CAN be a hero too." I didn't really know what he was talking about but I was glad he was there. I was never afraid when he was in my room. He would sit all night in a chair by my bed. Sometimes I would look at him and he would be staring out my window into the beautiful night sky, winking back at him through the window.

I hated the fact that he worked so much. That year I was really excited for father son day at school. Everyone's dad's would come in and tell the class about their jobs. Little did they know this was actually some sort of demented game for children, to compare dads and figure out whose is better. "My dad could beat up your dad!" one would say, "Oh yeah, well my dad makes more money than your dad and could hire a wrestler to beat up yours!"

I felt so left out. I would rather be the kid with the dad that could be beaten up by all the others instead of what I was. "The kid with no dad." Why didn't he show up, he knew how important it was to me. I told him that I was being picked on, and how all the kids would say, "Where's your dad? You don't have one!!!" and they would point and laugh. He felt bad and told me he was sorry but he couldn't get away from work. My anger vanished when I saw the look on his face. He truly was sorry. He was my dad; the best dad in the world and suddenly showing him off didn't mean so much.

The ridiculing, however, just got worse. One kid was poking me and said, "my mom says you don't have a dad."

"I do have a dad!" I yelled as I punched the kid in the nose. I was sent to the office for this, of course. It didn't matter, that kid deserved it. Why would he even say something like that? I told the principal what happened and she looked confused. She told me I should talk to my mom about what happened, and I did.

When I got home I explained the whole day to her. I was confused. I told her, "I don't know why they are saying these things to me. Daddy told me I should always stand up for myself. I punched him because he said bad things about daddy." My mom put her hand over her mouth and her eyes turned to glass. "What do you mean daddy told you?" I was confused. "Daddy tells me."

"Baby, daddy has left us. I just don't know how to tell you baby, but your daddy passed away. That's why he didn't go to your show and tell, that's why he's never home." She began to cry. She had been trying to protect me from the pain of losing my father. I didn't understand though because I saw him every night. "Mommy, that's not true, dad is here every night. He protects me from ghosts and sits up with me all night." She was crying and looked confused. I don't know if she thought I was crazy or thought I was lying, but whatever it was that I said, greatly upset her.

My mom eventually found her composure and straightened up. She told me that I had to grow up and be a big boy. She said that daddy was gone and was never coming back. I was so confused, so I decided to ask my dad about it that night. "Daddy, are you dead?"

"Why do you ask that lamb chop?" he asked with a quizzical expression. "Well." I replied, "Kids at school say I don't have a dad, and mommy said you passed away."

"Son, I am your father and nothing will change that. You mean everything to me and I wouldn't let something as simple as being alive change that. Do you understand?" I didn't understand, but I told him I did anyways. "Your mommy can't see me, but you can lamb chop. Tell your mommy I love her and I'm watching over her." He kissed me on the forehead and said goodnight.

As I grew older and older my father faded and faded until I never saw him again. I haven't seen him in years in fact. I wondered if I was crazy and it was just my mind trying to cope with not having a father figure around until I was mature enough to accept the fact that he was gone. I miss him so much and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. My wife and I have a boy now. He is 5 years old in a few days. He is the most important thing in my life right now. My wife and I treasure every moment with him. I want to always be there for my son and give him the father figure I thought I had, but only for real. I have breakfast with him every morning, and I can't wait to go to his show and tell.

One morning my son came up to me and said, "Daddy, why don't we ever let grandpa have breakfast with us?"

"Grandpa lives far away (thinking of my wife's father) he can't come to breakfast." My son replied, "No, your daddy! Grandpa! He's so funny," he giggled gently, "he calls me lamb chop junior!" I couldn't believe my ears and my eyes filled with water. "What did you just say?"

"Grandpa calls me lamb chop junior! He said that he's sad that you don't see him anymore, but he watches over you every night. He said he would watch over me too. He said he will be my hero, but only at nighttime."