Her

Chapter 11

Enzo

I wake up because Ella just kneed me in the dick. Fuck that hurt but I can't help but laugh. I look at the clock and it's 4:00. I decide to get up and go for a run. I wear the same sweats I wore last night because I realize I don't have any other clothes here. I'll go to the frat house during my run. I'm about to head out the door when I remember something. The drawing. I go over to the desk and open up the drawer. I search for a white sheet of paper with pencil scribbles on it and I finally find it. I pull it out and I'm in shock. It's me. She drew me. My eyes go wide and I just stand there staring at the amazing way she captured my jaw line. I rub my hand on my neck and notice she even drew my freckle that's right under my ear. It literally looks like a black and white picture of me. The detail is insane and she even made my veins noticeable. I look at myself in the mirror and hold the picture up. The resemblance is uncanny. Why would she draw me? I take my eyes off the so called 'doodle' and look at Ella. She's hugging the pillow and I can't help the smile that forms on my face. My thoughts leave me to wonder that she wants more. More with me. Would I let her in? Would she stay if I did? I already told her some things about my past and she's still here. She wanted me to stay. That's just the beginning though, of my sad, messed up childhood. To be honest, she knows me the best out of anyone and that's sad because we literally just met. But for some reason, I feel like I know her, and I can tell her anything. She could be the one. 

I take one last look at her and she's so elegant as she sleeps. I realize that if I decide to ruin this and leave her, it will be the worst mistake of my life. I need to stay. If I go, I might not ever get the chance at something that I've always wanted. What I really want. 

I do my normal jog around the campus and I stop. I notice a bench sitting next to a tree and remember seeing a brunette on the phone, staring googly eyed at me. I remember me giving her my smirk for the first time starting a frenzy. She loves it and the thought of her makes me smile. This girl is making me feel wanted and I love it. I know that ever since I saw her I wanted her, but I had no idea I wanted her in a way that I never thought possible. 

After I stop at the frat house to grab my clothes, I head back to the dorm and find Ella still sleeping in the same spot. I figured this would happen which is why I'm glad I brought my journal when I picked up my clothes. It's 5:30 so I have about an hour left until Ella's alarm goes off. I sit down and start writing.

                    "He's a mess,
                    He isn't good,
                   Walking around,
                   No one understood."

I look at Ella and smile. I want to be able to tell her everything but will she be able to hear it all? I don't want her to leave and it could scare her away. She wants me though, I can tell, and that's all I ever wanted, was for someone to want me. But I also want her to be able to accept me for all of me, so she needs to know everything. My guilt, my faults, my problems. Everything. 

                    "But it doesn't leave,
                    It's here to stay,
                    It's killing him,
                    To feel this way."

Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. We've known each other for about a week. That's it, and I already feel as close to her as I did with Sarah. I miss her. I wonder how she is. I've tried to find her but no one would tell me where she is. Remembering her short blonde hair, cute little smile, that teddy bear she took around everywhere, I stop myself when I start to tear up. I look up to make sure Ella is still sleeping because I don't want her to see this side of me. I have so many secrets and I have to tell her. I'll do it this week. Or next week. I can't figure out how to finish writing my poem so I put it away and decide to lay with her for the last thirty minutes until her alarm goes off. 

I take my clothes off except my boxers and lay down on the bed. I decide to wrap my arm around her and spoon her. My head gets buried in her hair and it smells so nice, and I feel her move her arm to hold mine but she doesn't wake up. I don't understand her. How can she feel this way about me? I look down at her and move a strand of hair away from her face once again. I'm not going to fall asleep, I know that. I'm just going to lay here and listen to this beautiful girl sleep, because I don't know how long she will stay.